I have had a tough year and a quarter as far as cats are concerned. Cats get old, cats get ill, cats are vulnerable to the dangers of their natural UK outdoor environment and the actions of irresponsible humans. As someone who has been living with four cats in recent times, I am far from unique in being exposed to the heartache that goes with this. But over the last fifteen months I have at times wondered if my cats have been passing an invisible sickness baton to one another, as if competing in an ill health relay. In early December, 2015, my cat Roscoe was attacked by a dog. After a long and agonising wait and two costly lifesaving operations, she was signed off by the vet, at which point my cat Shipley got cat flu and was put on dialysis, having been additionally diagnosed with kidney failure. With the help of the fluids and a course of medication, Shipley was looking amazingly strong and fit again by the summer, not long after which my very elderly cat The Bear began the decline that ended in his death, in mid-December. Almost as soon as The Bear died, Shipley began to look very thin and poorly again and went off his food, contracting another cold at the beginning of this month.
On Saturday afternoon, I returned home from a walk in Dorset to find Shipley looking unsettled and agitated, at times seemingly unable to support his back end. Always a potty mouth, he managed to greet me in spite of his obvious discomfort with a customary meow-shout, which sounded to my mind very much like “All right, fanny legs?” I fed him, gave him two of the five pills the vet had advised that he should take every day, treated him to a cuddle in his favourite position, on his back, on my lap. He purred, and air padded in a vague way but seemed a little limp. Half an hour later he vomited and started to act more unusually, walking in constant circles, unable to settle. While I was on the phone to the vet’s emergency line, he collapsed on his right hand side on the carpet in front of me, his eyes glazing over. I placed him gently in a cat carrier on a blanket and rushed him to the surgery, fearing he might no longer be alive by the time he arrived there. The nurse attached a catheter to him and got him settled in a kennel and we waited for the vet to arrive, which took just over twenty minutes, although at this point I had lost almost all sense of time as a concept. The vet told me that Shipley was still alive, but his heart rate was very fast, his temperature was very low and he was unable to get up.
There were two options, the vet said: treat Shipley’s condition very aggressively with fluids and medication and hope it might help, or put him to sleep. The vet asked me about Shipley’s behaviour before his collapse and, with the extra evidence of my answers, said it was likely he had suffered an embolism. I asked the vet several questions about the likelihood of Shipley having a good and comfortable life, if they were able to lift him out of his current pain. Upon hearing the answers, I made the choice to have him put to sleep. He was brought into the examining room so I could say my last goodbye to him. I kissed him on the head several times and told him how much I loved him. He looked directly at me with apparent recognition and seemed far more aware of his surroundings than he had half an hour earlier, which made what was happening worse and better: worse because I suddenly questioned, again, whether I was doing the right thing, and better because I wanted him to be conscious enough to be aware of just how much he meant to me. I wanted what he saw at the very end to be someone who’d adored him every day since he first saw him leaping boisterously over a garden pond in Essex in autumn 2001. He died at pretty much the exact moment that dusk turned to dark. As I left the surgery, I burst into proper tears – full, uncontrollable tears – for the first time in years.
A vet in the situation that my vet was in with Shipley knows that to end the pet’s life is the right course of action, but cannot emphatically advise that, when he or she is with a person who desperately does not want to lose their pet. The delicately balanced sensitivity required in these situations is a great vet skill, along with all the other great vet skills, such as perceptive diagnosis, kindness, calmness, emotional stamina. This shows that a vet’s job is immeasurably harder than mine, but I’m not feeling especially wonderful right now about the part of my job description which necessitates writing about the death of my cat. I’ve written four books centred around my cats – though not always just about them – and that means I have given myself the additional job of letting people who’ve read the books know when one of those cats have died. It is only fair. And that is why this piece of writing is here: it is for the people who knew Shipley through the books, or in real life, and most of all it is for Shipley himself. I owe it to him. I owe it to him additionally because Shipley got a raw deal, a lot of the time – not in real life, where he was spoiled rotten, and not in my books, where he got plenty of air time, but certainly on the Internet, where this piece of writing is appearing, and where it will be read by some people who knew him solely through the Internet.
Online, Shipley had the ignominious status of being My Other Black Cat. “The Bear looks odd in this photo,” people would often comment when I posted a photo of him, or “Ooh, hello Bear” and even though he looked nothing like The Bear and what I witnessing was tantamount to cat racism I would resist the urge to put them right because… well, let’s face it, there are not enough hours in the day, and how would it help humanity as a whole if I had gone ahead and done so? Because he was not as well-known as The Bear, he often fell into the shadows – which is something he never did in real life. More recently, he was also known on Twitter as @MYSWEARYCAT, which, while perhaps painting him in an unrealistically bad-natured light, was at least verbally accurate: he had a monumentally foul mouth on him, which, as foul mouths so often do, doubled as a form of affection. People who’ve read my books knew Shipley just as well as they knew The Bear, and will know that I loved him not a fraction less. I have been made aware that he’s the favourite of many readers. But online I am aware that there is a perception that he is somehow “lesser”. Of course, that’s just something the Internet excels at which is not the fault of any individual: placing a higher value on the lives of famous figures than on less famous figures, purely by dint of their fame. But I would at least like to take the opportunity here to put that perception right.
I had long anticipated that Shipley’s death would hit me harder than The Bear’s, and I was correct. I have loved all the cats I’ve lived with in varying powerful ways, and this isn’t a competition, or something that can be measured mathematically. But the line separating Shipley in the period immediately before his death from Shipley not being here any more is much thicker than the line that separated The Bear in the period immediately before his death from The Bear not being here any more. The Bear was never very catlike, a little furry island of Almost Cat who did his own thing, and in his final months that island had drifted further out to sea. Shipley, though clearly in pain, was still shouty, demanding, boisterous, right up to the very end. He was a cat who seemed to need me much more than The Bear did. Much like his brother Ralph, Shipley would be always seeking you out in the house, wanting to know what you were doing and whether he could join in. The space he occupied was huge and I’m going to notice that space for a long time. We were also quite similar in several ways: we both liked jumping around a lot and shared a penchant for creative profanity that was not solely, or even mostly, associated with anger. I also relate to Shipley’s problems with the distortion the Internet can create. When I look at the Internet right now, I see two different versions of myself fed back to me: me as I am, from people who know me personally or read my writing, and this other version of me that I don’t recognise, which consists of fragments of a pigeonholed version of me combined with some blanks that have been hastily filled in. As I write more, and feel like I’m getting more down to the marrow of what I’ve always wanted to do as an writer, it leads to a feeling of being simultaneously more ferociously “got” and more ferociously “ungot” than ever before. That’s probably very normal for anyone making art and striving for truth over watered down people pleasing, but the Internet exacerbates it. A chasm opens up between the person I am and the person someone who’s seen a few of my tweets and that I’ve written four books about cats (not four other books, and one more almost complete one, on other subjects, because none of those exist in this alternative online dimension) wants to tell me I am. I’m sure I’m not even close to being the most irritated or extreme victim of this and I totally understand where it comes from; it’s a collective technological phenomenon, happening to all sorts of people, on all sorts of levels, and it is not something you can rage against or change. But it does make me feel quite tired, and I have decided to find ways to do less to perpetuate it.
The way I have perpetuated it in the past is by tweeting – not loads, compared to some, but a fair bit. I think of a combination of words which sometimes people relate to or/and laugh at and retweet, and the combinations of words end up in the timelines of other people, who either also relate to and laugh at them, or are indifferent to them or get annoyed by them, sometimes in ways they choose to express, either passively or otherwise. If I am honest I have also tweeted a few more thoughts about cats because I would like cat lovers to read my books, what with the fact that the books centre around cats. The problem is that while this draws a few people to the books and an ultimate understanding of what they actually are, it draws more people, watching from a distance, into a swiftly formed perception that they are a very different kind of cat books, and that I’m a different kind of cat lover to the one I am.
I’m old enough to know who I am and to realise that trying to be liked and understood by everyone is a loser’s game but, at the same time I’m not especially up for seeing this character that has no resemblance to me being fed back to me on a constant basis. For a start, I’m not as young as I once was and sighing can be time consuming, as can mustering the restraint not to illuminate to someone exactly why they’re being a snap-judgemental dickhead. Since Shipley died I’ve only logged in once and that’s been enough to see two tweets and three messages in my inbox, all of which have been composed on the basis of a sweeping assumption on what my books – and by extension I – might be about. In addition I spotted another tweet complaining I’d been “a bit gloomy” recently: a reference to a photo of a broken footpath sign in Dorset containing several intriguingly ominous place names, which I’d posted in the belief that it was pretty much the opposite of gloomy. But, on reflection, I reconsidered: tweeting a photo of a broken footpath sign in Dorset containing several intriguingly ominous place names was pretty thoughtless of me. Could I have not considered the people who follow me purely for a stream of upbeat fragments of life, and who might not enjoy broken footpath signs containing ominous place names? Quite a lot of other people on Twitter weren’t being gloomy. Maybe they also had in solitude gone through the death of two beloved pets in the space of two months. And maybe they were putting it aside to provide the finely honed stream of content that their followership deserved. Had I not thought of that?
I’m old enough to know who I am and to realise that trying to be liked and understood by everyone is a loser’s game but, at the same time I’m not especially up for seeing this character that has no resemblance to me being fed back to me on a constant basis. For a start, I’m not as young as I once was and sighing can be time consuming, as can mustering the restraint not to illuminate to someone exactly why they’re being a snap-judgemental dickhead. Since Shipley died I’ve only logged in once and that’s been enough to see two tweets and three messages in my inbox, all of which have been composed on the basis of a sweeping assumption on what my books – and by extension I – might be about. In addition I spotted another tweet complaining I’d been “a bit gloomy” recently: a reference to a photo of a broken footpath sign in Dorset containing several intriguingly ominous place names, which I’d posted in the belief that it was pretty much the opposite of gloomy. But, on reflection, I reconsidered: tweeting a photo of a broken footpath sign in Dorset containing several intriguingly ominous place names was pretty thoughtless of me. Could I have not considered the people who follow me purely for a stream of upbeat fragments of life, and who might not enjoy broken footpath signs containing ominous place names? Quite a lot of other people on Twitter weren’t being gloomy. Maybe they also had in solitude gone through the death of two beloved pets in the space of two months. And maybe they were putting it aside to provide the finely honed stream of content that their followership deserved. Had I not thought of that?
I saw these messages while freshly grieving a dead pet – a pet who, in his chattiness, was about as close to a human pal as any I’ve ever known – so I have to take that into account. And the messages were nothing, really: tip of the iceberg compared to some of the vicious and cranky shit I’ve been sent in the past. I’m not taking it personally and – in a classic example of the time-consuming pre-empting that social media prompts you to do, and that I want to do less of – I have already mentally pre-written the responses to this obituary from people who haven’t understood it which say “Don’t take it personally, Tom.” It’s not about me personally; it’s about another me that people have invented in a rushed way. He hasn’t even got a face. Neither am I going to be too reactionary: I’m not going to delete my Twitter account, I’m not going to go for a total social media shutdown, and I’m not going to stop posting photos of cats, because I love cats, and that is a part of who I am, along with the many other things I love. I realise this is a bit of rough that goes with some smooth. But I have had this thought a few times: “What if something more awful had happened to me, and what if the messages had been more offensive?”
Yesterday I walked on Dartmoor with a good friend – this being in my real life, where I have plenty of friends to walk with, rather than the life of the person strangers sometimes tell me I am, whose only friends are cats and sheep. The friend had just experienced a much bigger, more shocking and traumatic loss than me. We talked about kindness: the way that it’s the only choice. Life throws too much at people for it not to be. What happens – and you can guarantee this is happening, regularly – when there’s a confluence of someone experiencing a huge and tragic life event and seeing a stranger saying something hideous to them on social media? How do people deal with that? What if I have to deal with it in the future? You don’t necessarily open yourself up to this kind of awfulness just by being on Twitter, and even in these troubled times the site contains as much love as it does hate, but the more frequently you broadcast on it, the more chance you do have of opening yourself up to the awfulness. For a long time now I have been losing faith in it as a form of communication, feeling more and more faith in books, where sentences are cushioned and contextualised by lots of other sentences. And in a weird unexpected sort of way Shipley’s death has confirmed this to me and prompted me to act a bit more on my faith, be a bit more disciplined about keeping my words where they will be less frequently jumped upon and misinterpreted. I’m grateful to him for that, but not half as grateful as I am for the years of affection and hilarity he gave me, with his innovative cussing tongue, his desperate need to be turned upside down on every possible occasion, the song he used to sing when he smelt raw chicken, his ease with being put to use regularly as a scarf, the way he used to race down the slope of my old garden clapping the back of legs with his paws in pure excitement that I’d come away from my work and joined him in the place where life truly happened – the outdoors, the place he only became reluctant to visit when he was critically, irreversibly ill.
Yesterday I walked on Dartmoor with a good friend – this being in my real life, where I have plenty of friends to walk with, rather than the life of the person strangers sometimes tell me I am, whose only friends are cats and sheep. The friend had just experienced a much bigger, more shocking and traumatic loss than me. We talked about kindness: the way that it’s the only choice. Life throws too much at people for it not to be. What happens – and you can guarantee this is happening, regularly – when there’s a confluence of someone experiencing a huge and tragic life event and seeing a stranger saying something hideous to them on social media? How do people deal with that? What if I have to deal with it in the future? You don’t necessarily open yourself up to this kind of awfulness just by being on Twitter, and even in these troubled times the site contains as much love as it does hate, but the more frequently you broadcast on it, the more chance you do have of opening yourself up to the awfulness. For a long time now I have been losing faith in it as a form of communication, feeling more and more faith in books, where sentences are cushioned and contextualised by lots of other sentences. And in a weird unexpected sort of way Shipley’s death has confirmed this to me and prompted me to act a bit more on my faith, be a bit more disciplined about keeping my words where they will be less frequently jumped upon and misinterpreted. I’m grateful to him for that, but not half as grateful as I am for the years of affection and hilarity he gave me, with his innovative cussing tongue, his desperate need to be turned upside down on every possible occasion, the song he used to sing when he smelt raw chicken, his ease with being put to use regularly as a scarf, the way he used to race down the slope of my old garden clapping the back of legs with his paws in pure excitement that I’d come away from my work and joined him in the place where life truly happened – the outdoors, the place he only became reluctant to visit when he was critically, irreversibly ill.
I have accepted that it was Shipley’s time, even though a few factors made it seem that it was not: the great vintage of The Bear which made Shipley – an old cat, by any normal standards – seem younger than he was, the way that mouth of his never reduced its voluminous fuckstream of friendly abuse, even when he was ailing. I live in a rented house and have been pretty good at keeping it intact, with my deposit in mind, but one region of the interior that has taken an indelible hammering is the corner of the carpet outside my bedroom door. This was courtesy of Shipley. The hole in the carpet survives him as a reminder of the sheer, claw-happy gobshite force of his will. Each time I see it I will remember that there was no choice with Shipley: you could do what he said or wish you had done. If he wanted to come and march on top of your head and purr in your face when you were asleep, you could put all kinds of barricades in his path, but he’d get his way in the end. “Eat my furry fucktrousers!” he would shout at the door in cat language. Then, when I placed heavy books and laundry baskets against it: “Lick my bellstick!” If I hadn’t let him in, I honestly think he would have ended up tunneling right beneath the threshold, given enough time.
Shipley’s attitude to death was not dissimilar. Last February, the vet said he thought it very unlikely Shipley would make it through to spring. I knew Shipley was tougher than that. “Shit on my tits, death!” said Shipley, powering through spring and and gaining strength throughout the summer. Even a week ago, as his kidneys became more and more chronically weak, you could hear him in the night, saying “Bastard kidneys shitpot twat willy!” or “Total eclipse of my arse” at a chair or plant. When I buried him, yesterday morning – in a spot many yards from the one The Bear occupies, for fear Shipley’s spirit would pick on The Bear’s, as it had done in life – I half expected him to claw his way up through the soil and back out into the bright day, with a defiant shout of “Piss whiskers!”
Many cats love boxes but Shipley’s love for them was more ardent and impatient than most, bordering on the fetishistic on occasion. Any time I brought one home and emptied it – and often before I’d had chance to empty it – he’d be inside it, swearing his head off, within seconds. Even if he’d been in a deep sleep somewhere in the bowels of the house when I opened the front door, his boxdar would kick in and he’d quickly locate the cardboard. “Flange attack! he’d shout joyfully, as he dived into the box, or “Urine party with cake!” Before I’d gone back to the vet’s to collect his body, the vet nurse on duty, Catherine, had asked me over the phone if I wanted to bring his carrier to put him in. That might have seemed more dignified to some but I don’t think Shipley would have viewed it that way. I asked her if, instead, she had a cardboard box she could put him inside. We probably tell ourselves all sorts of nonsense about our pets’ thoughts in order to feel better in times of grief but I have a strong belief that, with his particular predilections, Shipley would have preferred this method of transport. After I refilled the hole with earth I noticed the slogan on this box: “Understanding your needs. Innovating the solutions.” Black humour doesn’t come much blacker, but I could not suppress an internal chuckle. If Shipley was a person, he’d no doubt have been the kind who wouldn’t be able to resist remarking on the twattiness of a slogan like that. “Corporate cock sponge!” I could almost hear him meow, in typically punk disdain. I walked back to the house to give Roscoe and Ralph giant overbearing hugs and tidy up in readiness for the arrival of my friends Emily and Hayley. As I did I became acutely conscious of how much I was letting down all those people who skated across the Internet and decided stuff about who I was and the way I lived. Here I was, just some bloke with a couple of cats, waiting for a couple of friends to come over for a cup of tea.
Shipley’s attitude to death was not dissimilar. Last February, the vet said he thought it very unlikely Shipley would make it through to spring. I knew Shipley was tougher than that. “Shit on my tits, death!” said Shipley, powering through spring and and gaining strength throughout the summer. Even a week ago, as his kidneys became more and more chronically weak, you could hear him in the night, saying “Bastard kidneys shitpot twat willy!” or “Total eclipse of my arse” at a chair or plant. When I buried him, yesterday morning – in a spot many yards from the one The Bear occupies, for fear Shipley’s spirit would pick on The Bear’s, as it had done in life – I half expected him to claw his way up through the soil and back out into the bright day, with a defiant shout of “Piss whiskers!”
Many cats love boxes but Shipley’s love for them was more ardent and impatient than most, bordering on the fetishistic on occasion. Any time I brought one home and emptied it – and often before I’d had chance to empty it – he’d be inside it, swearing his head off, within seconds. Even if he’d been in a deep sleep somewhere in the bowels of the house when I opened the front door, his boxdar would kick in and he’d quickly locate the cardboard. “Flange attack! he’d shout joyfully, as he dived into the box, or “Urine party with cake!” Before I’d gone back to the vet’s to collect his body, the vet nurse on duty, Catherine, had asked me over the phone if I wanted to bring his carrier to put him in. That might have seemed more dignified to some but I don’t think Shipley would have viewed it that way. I asked her if, instead, she had a cardboard box she could put him inside. We probably tell ourselves all sorts of nonsense about our pets’ thoughts in order to feel better in times of grief but I have a strong belief that, with his particular predilections, Shipley would have preferred this method of transport. After I refilled the hole with earth I noticed the slogan on this box: “Understanding your needs. Innovating the solutions.” Black humour doesn’t come much blacker, but I could not suppress an internal chuckle. If Shipley was a person, he’d no doubt have been the kind who wouldn’t be able to resist remarking on the twattiness of a slogan like that. “Corporate cock sponge!” I could almost hear him meow, in typically punk disdain. I walked back to the house to give Roscoe and Ralph giant overbearing hugs and tidy up in readiness for the arrival of my friends Emily and Hayley. As I did I became acutely conscious of how much I was letting down all those people who skated across the Internet and decided stuff about who I was and the way I lived. Here I was, just some bloke with a couple of cats, waiting for a couple of friends to come over for a cup of tea.
I would be honoured if you read my books featuring Shipley and found out who he truly was, as a cat. This is one and this is another and he also features in this.
You are just such an amazing writer, Tom. So sorry to hear of the sad news about Shipley. Us readers will miss him!
Your words are a beautiful tribute from the best friend of the cuss-some black cat. I'm sad about him dying. Rest in peace Shipley.
That was a breathtaking beautiful eulogy, such as he deserved. Your ability to both feel and express such depth and compassion gives me such hope. You will be in my thoughts, Mr . Cox. You and your amazing cats and your amazing heart. I hope you will be allowed all the space, peace, and time you need to mourn and to heal.
Farewell, feisty Shipley. Love you, Ton. Be well.
I am so sorry that the wonderful shouty Shipley is gone. I adored reading about him in your books, and since first coming across him we now have our very own shouty black sweetheart Typo, who clearly models herself on him somehow.
I can't begin to imagine how hard it is to lose two beautiful cats in such quick succession, as well as deal with poor Roscoe's attack. I am a stranger who only knows you and your cats through your wonderful books – but I'm sending you every virtual kindness at the moment. I'm off to give my own three cats huge hugs now. Take care and I hope the stupid internet trolls fuck right off!
Aw mate, so sorry to hear this!
Thinking about you Tom.
I am so touched by your beautiful eulogy to Shipley, I followed The Bear and read every post avidly. Shipley was so blessed to have such a caring and thoughtful owner. I cannot imagine the grief that you are feeling, I look at my cat Falstaff and my heart is so full of love for him, I will be broken hearted when anything happens to him. Thank you for sharing such a personal and heartfelt moment xxx
oh i'm so so sorry. what an awful year. but i'm glad i got to know shipley through your books. and i have a feeling he's too lippy not to come back and haunt you with the odd 'oi, pissflaps!' through the bedroom door 🙂
Tom, I only know your cats from Twitter, and they have all brought me a lot of joy and happiness, for what it's worth. I dislike so much of what there is on Twitter, all the shouting and the craziness, but your posts always ALWAYS fill me with happiness, even when (especially when) they are about mysterious road signs on the moors. I can't speak for anyone else, or how others might perceive you, but I have to say that your pictures and words, and your gentle quirky wit have brought a great deal of light into my life and I would like to thank you so much for that. None of us can control how others see us, but for me personally you are a ray of sunshine into a stressful and often frightening world. I haven't read your books yet, but I will certainly read all of them. I adored The Bear because he reminded me of my late cat who had several names, and who died last year aged 20. The Bear's eyes were like his. Take care Tom. xo
Heartbroken, absolutely heartbroken. I know my.grief.in no way compares to your own, but as much as I loved The Bear and always will, I GOT Shipley,.He was me. Goodbye.furry foul-mouthed love, good-bye.
So sorry to hear the news about Shipley, he had a good life with you though Tom. Karen x
I am crying with you yet again. x
It sounds inadequate, but I know how you feel on all counts. Shipley was a star in his own right, and you deserve so much better than the stupidity of those who are thankfully in the minority. Much love xxx
My favourite picture of Shipley is the one where he's on his back, legs akimbo, with a look of bliss on his face. My favourite Shipley word is "fucklecopter". That's how I'll remember him. A gorgeous, furry gobshite. I'm thinking of you Tom.
Fuck, man. This made me sob for several minutes. I am so, so, so incredibly sorry for your loss. Thank you for introducing Shipley to us. I always looked forward to seeing what sort of vulgar things he was saying. He is not lesser in any way; from what I learned of him from you, he is a perfect, bright and wonderful soul with a penchant for creative cursing. Sending you much internet love and goodwill.
Oh my, that piece has had me sobbing for so many reasons. I came to your books through twitter and have loved every book, every tweet and every essay since. I'd be devastated to think that others could not find their way to your work the way that I did, I would hope you maintain your presence on social media for a very long time to come. Also the death of loud mouthed, sweaty, lovable Shipley – I don't know you, or your cats but I have so much enjoyed my sweaty car's tweets and will miss them terribly. I feel quite a fool getting so upset about a person and cat I don't know, and have never met, but for me your writing has, and will continue to make me feel a connection and an affection for you and your cats. Thanks for it all.
Oh damn. I'm sorry, again, for the loss of one your close friends. They may be "only cats" but they are our constant companions, each with their own furry personalities. It's tough to have them leave for the other side. I'm sorry that your chosen work makes you have to share these moments with so many. Grieving is a very intimate and personal thing to have to share with strangers. Blessings to you, Tom. Blessings to Shipley on his journey. *sigh*
So sad to hear about Shipley, have enjoyed the antics of all of your cats and your Mum and Dad's in your books. I lost my elderly cat towards the end of last year and it sucked to make that final decision. There is still an Elmo shaped hole in our lives, although a lot less snot and drool on the furnishings, but the other cats take my mind off him. RIP Shipley
Not shipley too, I love sweary cat, he is up there with St Peter introducing him to new words. Feel for you mate, only yesterday I was playing with my 16 year old "kitten" then realised how old and tired she looks. Heartbreaking news, but at least Shipley had a good run with a loving family.
Tom I'm new to your writing but not new to what you're going through losing The Bear and Shipley. My heart goes out to you. Sending big virtual hugs your way x
It's not often I read something that makes me ugly cry and laugh out loud. Thank you for sharing Shipley with us. Subscribing 🙂
So sorry to hear this. The only thing you can really do to quiet the grief for a while is to treat Ralph and Roscoe, more than you treat them normally. My late partner and I had a very similar experience with a 19-year old black cat; she was small and perfectly formed, a cat who demanded entertainment from her humans, and a cat who followed me around and always seemed to be asking "why?" at every action. She also enjoyed the Man Washes Hands and Man Brushes Teeth shows immensely. But the time came when she couldn't lift herself up and so we had to do the last kindness we could possibly do for her, something we knew had to be done but that broke our hearts. For all that, it's never an easy decision.
As for Twitter, its enforced brevity seems to just distil all the bile and spite of its users. It does the same to the less unsavoury stuff too but there seem to be a growing number of people who take delight in being as unpleasant as possible. An old Penny Arcade strip (from 2004!) remains relevant: https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/19
Thank you, Tom, for this tribute to Shipley. I can understand why you will miss him so much.
I am so sorry about Shipley. As one of your book readers, he did have a special place in my heart too… probably because like him, I tend to be a foul-mouthed creature of habit.
So sorry to be reading this. Just mow… mow mow mow and bloody fecking mow. xx
Tom – it feels inadequate to say this but I feel privileged to have read your cat books and to have shared a part of your life. I love how you write and the pics on instagram. No one can know someone through such a small glimpse – the Internet is a vehicle for opinion, of which we all have one. We all have an arse too but I don't want to see everyone's. Lots of love to you xx
So sorry to hear you have lost Shipley so soon after Bear. I lost 2 cats within a month of each other and another within the year. It was very hard. I still miss them, and the cats I have lost since.
My friend introduced me to your twitter feeds and books when I was mourning the death of my cat, Mojo, who was a big, talkative boy and a big personality. I loved reading about Shipley (and all the the others). I've shed tears for both him and The Bear. Keep being yourself, in your writing and your photos.
Very sorry to hear about Shipley. Living in West Yorkshire, I often see signs to Shipley and would always think of him. So hard to make that decision at the vets, many of us have been there in that position and it's horrendous. Prayers with you x
So sorry, you are having a crap year. There is nothing really to say that would make it better. I am struggling to type this as my cat is trying to trim his toenails on my lap, he is not a respecter of other people's feelings.
I've just got back from a mini-vacation, during which I read, identified, and laughed along with Close Encounters of the Furred Kind during the quieter moments. I came home to the scent of not yet fixed Leonard everywhere (soon!!!), and thought of George immediately. In between unpacking and placating my fuzzballs, I decided to check the internet and see what was new and the first thing I saw was your beautiful tribute to Shipley. He was an exquisite boy and I am so sorry for your family's loss. Losing a beloved fuzzball is never easy and while over time it gets a wee bit easier, it never goes away. Please accept big fur coated internet hugs from me, Loki, Edward and Leonard (the fuzzball gang) to you, Ralph and Roscoe. Please don't stop being you, and bollocks to anyone who expects otherwise. I shall wait anxiously for your next missive and continue to enjoy the blog in the meantime (I simply can't do twitter). Treat yourself well, spoil the fuzzballs often and generously, and please continue to live life on your terms, not someone else's. If you ever find yourself in the Toronto area, I would be delighted to take you out for a cup of tea (or something stronger if preferred).
Massive comforting hugs Tom Cox. I am so very sorry
Aw Tom I'm so sorry. I genuinely adored reading about Shipley in your books, and all your gorgeous furbabies. A lot of love went to The Bear, but my heart belonged to Shipley. I feel for your loss, it's not an easy thing, especially two so close together. Keep hugging Roscoe and Ralph, lots of love xxx
Timing is everything. Miso, my tortie shadow, spent the day being a brave soldier at the vets, getting her cardiomyopathy checked out. The silence in the house was unbearable. Her daughter, Noodle, has always been the vocal one, as Miso wanders silently around, looking for humans. If she finds 2 humans, she plays it cool. She might even try to maim people, to show she isn't soft. If she finds one human, all she wants is to be close. She mutely sits & advises, or falls asleep with one paw attached to you, so you cannot escape her. In a year that was hard to live through, that paw, those ears, those loving eyes were there. Just one without her, was too long. So now we have to count her breaths. As she sleeps, we have to watch her baggy cat suit go up & down. We have to stare at her, put a hand on her belly & appreciate every breath she takes. And consider that a bonus.
So sorry for your loss x
The thing I get from you every time i read you is that you're a kind soul and you're right, there no other choice but kindness in life and I think people should stop consider it a weakness, kindness is the best thing we have to offer to each other and to animals. I'm very sorry for your loss, Shipley had obviously his own personality and as a lover of black cats, my first love was a black cat after all, I never would have mistaken him for the Bear, they had very different faces and eyes. Shipley was a beautiful black cat and I'm sad tonight.
I wish you a peaceful mourning, filled with nice memories and to find solace in Ralph and Roscoe.
Lina
Definitely sobbed and laughed! Beautifully written. Shipley was a lucky cat to have such a human. Thanks for sharing some of Shipley with us.
So sorry Tom. Crying with you again
Xxx
Very sorry to hear about Shipley. Living in West Yorkshire, I often see signs to Shipley and would always think of him. So hard to make that decision at the vets, many of us have been there in that position and it's horrendous. Prayers with you x
Oh no! Such sad news, I can't even imagine how you are feeling, heart breaking knews and such a tough decision. He's frolicking with The Bear now, shouting at him when he's trying to snooze! I am lucky enough to have similar fuzzy blighters in my life, and despite the swearing that often follows being woken by shouting at 5am breakfast summoning and the disgruntled grunts from his older brother who he loves so much. They fill your heart, and always provide scintillating conversation.
Take care of yourself sweetie xx hugs and best wishes xx
How can you love a cat you never met? You just fucking can. Bye Shipley. Say hi to The Bear in cat heaven.
Two weeks ago, I had to take my 17 year old grey tabby Louie to the vets for the last time. We knew it was time, he had become very confused then lost his eyesight which made his confusion worse. He was loving to the very end and will always be in our hearts. I still have three other moggie overlords that keep us in line, but it is still very quiet without him. I am so sorry to hear that you have had to say goodbye to two of your furry friends in such a short time. I enjoyed reading about their antics in your books and their memories will live on. Rest in peace Shipley.
Shocked by this news so soon after you lost The Bear, and so very, very sorry. Life can be very unfair.
Heartbroken, loved both the Bear and Shipley.
Oh Tom I can't stop crying. People are shits and don't see you for the man you really are, and that's ok because they're shits. Your readers know better and Shipley, The Bear and Roscoe and Ralph are so lucky to have you; and in turn, you them. I'm kissing and cuddling mine even more again now. RIP Shipley.
So sorry for your loss Tom, big loves to you Ralph and Roscoe.xxx
Love you. Loved Shipley.
I just wanted to pass along my condolences. I enjoy your stories about all of your cats and am currently owned by 4 myself. I enjoy wondering how you would describe them if you knew them. Thank you for sharing them and the inside of your head with us.
I have read your books from cover to cover several times and what always struck me was the clarity of all your cats' characters, so well defined and relatable. Shipley is one of my favourites, and, corny as it sounds, he, along with The Bear, Brewer and Janet, will truly live forever in your words, and for that I am profoundly grateful. Thinking of you.
I'm so sorry you have had such a hard time of it. The death of a loved pet is such a hard thing to happen. Your writing has been such a joy to read and I thank you for letttng me get to know your cats.
Tom, thank you for sharing Shipley's life with us through your books, website and tweets. He appeared to me to be a damn fine cat who led life as it should be, doing/saying what he wanted and sod whatever anyone thought. I am sorry that along with the loss of Shipley you have been on the receiving end of unpleasantness. When I read Shipley was with us no more the word that entered my head was Buggeration, I hope Shipley would approve.
I am so, so sorry Tom. You've lost two family members this year and I can't believe the horror of anyone trying to make you feel badly. I am in tears hearing this news; for you and the loss of Shipley and selfishly for my Tortie Brontë who has been diagnosed with kidney disease recently, is my constant chatty/shouty companion and who is probably my best friend. Thank you for your writing.
TY for sharing so much of you and Shipley – I'm crying out loud and getting a shady as hell look from my own Addison. I also went through the decision for multiple cats within a short time.. it was the right one- Shipley trusted you on that.. never makes it feel any better.. Be gentle with yourself as long as Roscoe and Ralph will allow
Though I am only comment occasionally, I am sure there are a silent majority like me who appreciate your writing and your devotion to your work and your cats. Be exactly who you are. For what it's worth "A joy shared is twice a joy, a sorrow shared is half a sorrow." Even half a sorrow is overwhelming sometimes. Heartfelt condolences.
What an absolutely beautiful tribute. I have enjoyed you and your cats over the internet for years, but ever bought your books. This tribute convinced me to buy all of them. Not because I'm sad for you and you're loss, though I am, but more because your sensitivity, your rawness shown through this tribute. You absolutely LOVE your cats, as I feel all cat owners should, but don't. I don't know what was said to you by the trolls, but it probably had something to do with "how dare you exploit your cats for money, blah blah blah". If those humanoids do not understand how much you adore your cats and that you are writing about them through your heart, through a sense of undeniable love, for the public to get a laugh or two, and really see that animals have personalities and emotions by now, they won't see it, ever. Tell them to shrink bigger, like Sea World or circuses.
Shipley sounds like he was the comedic light to the Bear's depth. Like comedians, though, he was incredibly empathic and sensitive, so much so that after Rodcoe got hurt, he tried to take her pain in through his kidneys. And for the Bear, well, he probably felt such a sensitive soul needed a friend in Cat a Heaven, so he volunteered. It also seems like Shipley was very similar to you-sensitive, empathic, wanting to make everyone laugh while teaching about the bigger picture. You guys sound like kindred spirits, and I believe that he and The Bear will be watching over you and Ralph and Roscoe, giving you little signs that they are still with you.
Thank you for sharing your life with Shipley with all of us. Just had a good cry and cussed a few times in honor of Shipley. Sending you, Roscoe, and Ralph much love across the pond.
Oh, Tom, I am so deeply sorry to hear such incredibly sad news about sweet Shipley. Please know that there are many of us here that fully understand how you feel about such overwhelming loss. I am heartbroken. Much love. xx
I am so sorry for your loss. Shipley was a force and I will miss his shitter box mouth. After losing my own cat to cancer three years ago and having to make that same soul-crushing decision to euthanize I started fostering cats while they waited for adoption. At this exact second I have a loud and foul mouthed kitten on my lap who I've nicknamed Yelly. She is all black with a little white dot on her chest. With all the kittens I've fostered these years I've never had one so destructive, intrusive, obnoxious, and fucking annoying. And bossy! What a turd. When she goes to her forever home I will breathe a huge sigh of relief and then cry my eyes out. I will miss her something awful. Then I will throw away all the stuff she destroyed, clean up her messes, and welcome the next kitty or five that need a place to stay after a tough start.
Fucking shitty bollocking jizzsacks.
Great eulogy to the fucking legend that was #LovelyShipley. To me, he was NEVER your other black cat. He always was, and always will be, #LovelyShipley.
I am crying for him as much as I cried for The Bear.
*hugs to you, Ralphy and Roscoe* xxx
So sorry for your loss. Shipley was certainly a special cat. Godspeed, dear kitty.
I don't know you and your cats personally Tom, only through your books, Twitter and your other writings but I fell in love with them all and cried when I heard about the Bear. I am so terribly sorry to hear about Shipley who looked like a cheeky boy in his pictures and your stories about him always made me laugh out loud. He was completely deserving of your beautiful eulogy. I lost my own special cat friend on 17th April 2013 and his picture still hurts my heart. I won't say anything trite about time making this easier because I'm not sure it does but I hope the memories of the great times you had with Shipley and the Bear will help. KIrsty xxx
Well crapola! This sucks beyond words. Piss whiskers to you, Shipley, as you run to catch up to Bear.
Oh my god Tom, this is so raw, so heartfelt. If it was painfuul to read what must it have been like to write. Thankyou for allowing us to share a glimpse of life with you & the cats, I really hope you are able to continue & the good stuff outweighs the bad.
Oh Tom, I am so sorry.
Oh, Tom…. I am so sorry for your loss.
So sorry to hear about Shipley. The love shared between you both can never be replaced. But then each one of our pets are different. Their paw prints will be forever left upon our hearts. Cherish the love and the memories.
Goodbye dear Shipley and thanks for sharing his life, swearing and your grief with us Tom. Donating to a local shelter so another cat can find a human to turn them upside down.
I am so sorry dear sweary Shipley is gone! Your lovely tribute made me cry for you both. How painful for you to lose two such beloved friends in so a short time!
(The online trolls – the thoughtless or rude or callous or mean-spirited – must at times be a heavy weight to bear. Stepping back is a sensible move, but we, your fans, must hope you won't leave us altogether. Your tweets are always a bright spot in my timeline.)
RIP Shipley. My condolences to you, Tom
What is there to say and yet I can't say nothing…..
I am grateful for all the writing and the pleasure and anticipation it brings, for all the joy that your books bring and even the tears that are sometimes there
But also I am sorry for all of it, for the losses, the reactions of some and the complications that being a 'public figure' bring to your life, mostly I am sorry that you had to make the choice which, although right and kind, is, I know, so hard to live with.
Oh, heartache piled upon sorrow! I'm so sorry, Tom. I've had the privilege of getting to know you and your wonderful cats, just a little, from your writing. They all have very distinctive personalities, and Shipley's was a particularly large one.
Please give Ralph and Roscoe an extra bit of fussing from a fan on the other side of the world.
So sorry to hear about Shipley. We used to have a female cat with a very similar character who was a huge loss to all of us when she went. RIP Shipley. And you take care Tom.
So very sorry Tom. Shipley was fucking marvellous xxx
Once again, I'm weeping in sympathy with you at the loss of another beloved cat. Mine are still young, but they won't be for ever. I'm so sorry, but also glad that you loved them while you could.
Never let those people get you down, Tom. The rest of us are here, reading along with you, laughing along with you and crying along with you. Shipley will no doubt be inventing interesting new swears in the afterlife, shocking The Bear and my beloved Freya with his shouted profanities. And always remember the wise words of my ex…"It is totally OK to punch anyone who says, 'It's just a cat'."
Sooo sorry to hear your sad news. I have enjoyed dipping in and out of your blog from time to time. Shipley seemed a lot like my Boots. Sadly I also had to make the decision to have my Beloved pet put 5 yrs of her company. A vocal cat , like your Shipley, who used to follow me everywhere too! That last trusting look at me in the vets , and the half hearted purr she still managed to give to me will stay forever etched in my heart. I am left with Boots sister who is quieter and not as needy. She is a comfort , but I do miss my human/ puss pal. May she find Boots find Shipley and they can shout at each other ! RIP Shipley and Boots! May you both forever bound noisily in field full of catnip, and sunshine!
Lisa.
I'm so sorry for another loss to your little family. Your writing is wonderful and I felt like I knew Shipley and The Bear just a little bit because of it. I hope you, Ralph and Roscoe cope ok with it all, thoughts are with you xx
Such beautiful words for a much loved friend. I just cried reading this. So sad and my heart goes out to you.
So very sorry Tom, losing one fabulous furry friend is hard enough but to lose two so close together must be so heartbreaking and painful. Loved meeting all your cats through your books. RIP Shipley, no doubt he's shouting loudly over the Rainbow Bridge!Love and hugs xxx
Lovely, lovely words Tom.. so sorry for your loss… rest in peace, Shipley… like other readers have said, he was a sweary legend in his own right.. Ali…x
DearTom. Once again my heart is breaking. I loved Shipley in your books, having a sweary cat of my own. My three furries and I send you big hugs and purrdles, not that this is any help to you at all. Lucille
So very sad to hear of Shipley's passing and so soon after The Bear. They both had a wonderful life with you Tom , that comes across in all your books and your tweets so well. Thank you for such beautiful writing and for sharing your cats lives. Take care
So so sorry to read this news about Shipley. I felt as though I knew him a little from your books and this is such a warm and loving tribute that it's moved me to tears. Thank you for sharing him with us.
The last journey to the vet with a friend and companion is a privilege and a duty that breaks your heart and which you never forget. At 72 years of age I have made that journey several times and cried those tears you describe so beautifully every time. I only wish that someone I love could do it for me when the time comes, rather than descending into dementia or degenerative illness. Thank you for your writing Tom, it has given me much pleasure and much to think about, all in your easy and familiar style. I look forward to your new book soon and hope that you will find room for another cat or two in your life. Shippers will be missed and remembered by his fan club.
Kindness is the only way forward, especially now. Having lost two older cats in a short period of 2009, I recognize the strain of what you are experiencing, especially when the one that has been more your friend than your pet finally lets go. I also recall the fight she had at the end, how she wasn't ready for her 17-year-old body to give out. It does make it harder to let them go, to avoid second-guessing. And it's a gap in the heart that will only change shape to become more tolerable over time, but not quite go away. That sounds terrible, but I find it comforting now, years on.
I hope you never regret sharing your life online. Your writing has made me laugh at times when I didn't think it was possible, and your nature writing has often provided a sense of reassurance about the timeless beauty and goodness of the world that sometimes has seemed lost to me. You also reassure me that the personalities my cats have are not in my head. My little black cat looks like Shipley, has what we call merely "an unfortunate voice;" we don't think he's well-read enough to be creatively sweary, but does like to sound the alarm at 3 and 4 and 5 and 6 in the morning about the raccoons in the yard. Again. Just like yesterday. And the day before.
May walks, tea, friendship, Ralph and Roscoe be kind to you in the coming days and weeks (no wet gusts, no chipped cups, no thoughtless words, no misplaced poops or regurgitated voles on the carpet). And thank you for letting us know about Shipley. He was never "the other black cat" to many of us.
This eulogy in print did justice to Shipley. Sorry for your great loss.
Our cat Cyd died last July. She was 14 years old and was the quiet spirit of the house. I still look for her in her favourite places when I enter a room, or wonder where she's got to and then remember she isn't there. Shipley leaves a sweary hole in your life, your day. I'll miss reading the spew from his gloriously foul mouth.
I am just forever grateful that you have shared some of your journey with us. And one part of my heart is very happy that a fine, professional swearing cat like Shipley found you, because I doubt anyone else would have helped him reach his full potential. The other part of my heart aches for you and for all of us, because there is, indeed, a huge cavern left by his passing. One of the things I have appreciated most about your sharing Shipley, The Bear, and all the others is that it has helped me realize just how unique every creature is. And it's flat out amazing. And I find myself spending more and more time, being patient, watching and learning. So, in the interest of "The Science of How The Internet Defines Us," I'll enter my response to your commentary above: Tom Cox has helped me and others look at the world around us in some very wonderful, humorous, newly kiltered ways. And I love that. Thank you. And I will be thinking of you as you have to deal with all of this.
Shipley had hutzpah. He'd earned the right to say as he pleased about life and it's foul twists. I'm so sorry for your loss. May your memories sustain you till your torn heart heals?
This is a beautiful essay. I'm so sorry for your loss, Tom. Coming so soon after The Bear, it's almost too much to endure.
I am so sorry that Shipley had to leave you Tom, take comfort that he had a good time with you and his feline friends. The Bear will have a companion up there in cat heaven.
I have loved reading his escapades in the books you have written and shared with us.
Jackie
I just spent the better part of an hour, losing it because I couldn't find my old cat Foster. A 3-legged, hard of hearing, brown tabby with renal failure. On pleasant days like today, his favorite thing to do is to nap outside in the sun. Only he was there. I checked all his favorite spots, couldn't find him. Checked the neighbors' yards, searched the house, getting more frantic by the moment. I was preparing to climb the ridge behind my house, a very steep ridge, fearing he may have gone up there because his time was at hand. I had gotten the treat can, 'cause maybe he'd hear that, and I gave it a shake. He came out from under a bush, where he had been sleeping in a pile of leave. Hugs, and kisses, and tears of joy, replaced the anxious tears that had been shed. After treats and a few moments of spending time with the old guy, I decided to post about the event on facebook. And saw your post about Shipley. All the feelings I had just experienced came back. My heart broke for you. Not Shipley. I'm so sorry. I understand the pain, I also understand the questioning about the decisions that had to be made, as a cat parent and as a vet tech. It's not easy. Even though, medically, I know it is the right decision, I fight it. I don't want to make that decision. It's coming, I know it is, today was a foreshadowing of what is to come. I hope you understand. I just want you to know, that a lover of cats from across the Atlantic is grieving for you, Roscoe and Ralph.
So so sorry to hear beautiful Shipley has passed. My own black terrorist swore at the vet this afternoon (it sounded like p&££flaps) when we were told the treatment for calicivirus has worked well. So as a sweary cat with a terrible lisp (only two teeth left…) I will give her the biggest hug this evening. In memory of Shipley and of Bear, whom I loved through your books.
Rest in peace and profanity x
I have to admit, I laughed out loud at some of the wonderful Shipley obscenities towards the end of this. But a little tear squeezed out at the same time. I am very sorry for your loss, but I hope you can take some comfort in the fact that you captured his spirit so well that strangers on the internet are laughing and crying because you shared the sweary joy of him with us.
Oh Tom – so sorry to hear of Shipley's passing. We have loved reading about all of your cats – all so different and with their own place in the world. Shipley's place was a loud sweary place, and the world is less without him. I shall wear my furry fucktrousers in his honour and his memory. Sending you, Ralph and Roscoe love and kindness x
So sad, and still you manage to write such a beautiful piece. It just shows how much you care for your cats and what a great writer you are.
Bye Shipley, love to all x
So sorry for your loss, I'm cuddling my little furry bastard a bit tighter tonight. Love and healing being sent to you x
I cried for you and me and us more this time, too. Not least because Shipley looks so much like my long deceased best pal, Spike and I know how it felt for me which is just as bad as when I lost dear humans and while I have adopted new crazy fur balls whom I love dearly I think about him all the time.
I also want to say:
I love what you share with us. And Shipley's amazing creative swearyness. And I'm really, really sad there will be no new news from Shipley.
Oh…and I love these photos of him.
Beautiful thoughtful writing as always. Leaves me thinking long after I've closed the page. Thank you for sharing Shipley with us x
Oh, dear Shipley. As I'm not in a position to own my own cats, thank for sharing yours with us, through thick and thin. Hugs to the three of you x
9 years ago I lost 3 cats within 2 months and then had to take a very sick stray to the vet to be euthanized a month later. It felt like the end of the world. I feel your pain and sadness. My thoughts and good vibes go out to you.
Sorry about your cats Tom….you are a really,good writer and I wish you much success.
Love from an old woman. X
PS you always look damn cool like the boys I went out with in the 70s.
After reading your post here, none of it surprised me in he least – not the fact that you were devoted to and deeply connected to Shipley and that his death is going to be extraordinarily difficult, nor the fact that you sense a separation between your online perceptions and who you personally feel you are, it's as unfair as it is inevitable. Having experienced unspeakable loss myself not long ago, and lately watching my black cat with kidney disease struggle, I can relate to that sense that people are watching and making assumptions about your behavior from their vantage point. Most mean well, but that doesn't make it easier to deal with. I'd love to be able to go to the grocery store without people looking and wondering, or offering a comment while I'm buying bananas. I also know not many people understand that without my little black cat, who aggressively naps daily with his paws on my face ever since I lost my father and sister, I might not have made it. Cats KNOW things, and are quite astute at psychological assistance, I think, enjoy your walks, your tea with friends, and your two remarkable felines. I'm sure all those things will each do their part to help you through.
As one of those internet people, I just want to send you heartfelt thanks. Thank you for sharing Shipley with us. Thank you for sharing all of your cats. Their personalities, their lives , adventures and ultimately, with Shipley and the Bear, their deaths. When you should be free to grieve without explanation, you choose to tell us your story and share the news, that , while very sad, we want to know. I know the empty spot on the lap, the ghost brush against your legs as you brush your teeth and the cold place next to your pillow that always had a warm, curled up friend. I'm truly sorry for your loss.
Tom I've heard you talk and read all your books……even the one about golf…and I've never doubted your love for your cats. I lost my 18 year old black cat, Noisy Boy Joe , at the end of January and can understand how you are feeling. It's the emptiest feeling in the world. People will try to console you that he had a great life but you KNOW that.I guess time is the only healer and it really takes time not a few days or weeks or even months. It takes a long time. Hug Ralph and Roscoe. RIP beautiful Shipley.
So sorry to read this news Tom. I have read your books and feel as if I know your cats personally and I love them all – I've felt your pain and laughed with you. I can't imagine how it must feel losing The Bear and Shipley in such a short space of time.
I also dip in and out of your website, enjoying your thoughts and insights. Sometimes your topics take me by surprise and I find myself intrigued by something I'd never have normally thought about. I'm looking forward to your new book and wish you all the best in your writing ventures.
Give Ralph and Roscoe big hugs from me.
Isobel
I've only recently started reading your books (on the third now) but I love the way you write and how you weave cat stories into your story. I've always had cats, sometimes more than one so do appreciate the pain and sorrow when a much loved pet dies. i'm really looking forward to reading your new book sometime soon.So sorry about Shipley, so soon after The Bear.
In tears with you. Thank you for your writing, and sharing your life (& theirs) with us. I'm so sorry for your losses.
"Total eclipse of my arse" indeed.
So sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how devastating it must be to lose two beloved cats in such a short time. When the last of my childhood cats, Bubble, was put to sleep when I was about 25, I was with him and it was so similar to how you've described with Shipley – we stared into each other's eyes and he was purring and seemed so… well. My dad and I left the vets and walked home crying our eyes out. Bubble would also tear apart a carpet corner that dared to stand between him and the other side of a door. All the best to you and all who knew Shipley.
What a lovely, moving, sad, funny tribute to your boy! Thank you for sharing in a time of grief x RIP Shipley. I bought my 26 year old son Under The Paw and The Good The Bad And The Furry for Christmas. He's as fanatical about cats as I am. We have 4 rescue cats one is very poorly with diabetes(now under control hopefully) and possibly Cushings disease which is apparently rare in cats but he has many of the symptoms. He's become an even grumpier git than normal so maybe he is in pain. Wish they could tell us when they'd had enough! Thanks again Ali
I love reading your work, you have become one of my most favorite modern authors. I know that this was hard for you to write, and it was hard to read too. Beautiful and hauntingly sad.
So, so sorry. Will have a hearty curse in Shipley's honour.
Tom, what sad news, yet again. Thank you for sharing your Shipley and The Bear with us. I have been where you are, making the choice of whether to prolong my cat's life or let her go, and I chose the latter. You know in your heart you made the right choice, but the grief is not any different than with a cat dying in their sleep. May they live on in your wonderful writing, and may time lessen the tears and bring wistful memories instead. Love from a fan in Toronto.
Another beautiful tribute Tom, I'm sorry for your loss.
Thank you for telling us so beautifully……tears and smiles……Much love to you, Roscoe and Ralph❤️
Bloody cats! coming here, stealing our love , beds, favourite chairs, warm bit on the landing on top of the heating pipes, top off a defrosting cheesecake. As of last week we are now a two cat household, down from four just a few months earlier. I miss Freds maunging and Flos dizziness, both so different.
Keep being kind Tom, unless someone is a complete arse xx
Oh, fuck. I am so sorry, Tom. I hadn't quite clocked how frail Shipley had become… it seems to me from the above really lovely and thoughtful piece of writing that you have very good vets of whom you're very appreciative, which is a real blessing. Your gorgeous and characterful cats have benefited from the fact that you are strong for them and take pains for them so that they don't have to. Look after yourself. And in the broadest sense, WOFFAL. x
Oh Shipley <3 Your Sweary Cat will be much missed! I'm a vet-in-training and can't express how your words make me feel – there are pet-owners like yourself out there is a massive comfort and motivation to all of us in the profession. Thank you for sharing Shipley with us x
What a beautiful tribute to dear Shipley. I'm so sorry for your loss. Through your writing and photos, you've given us a glimpse into your special cat-world, in which The Bear and Shipley live on. Please keep being yourself. Sending you, Ralph and Roscoe kind thoughts from deepest Norfolk.
You. The you who wrote this beautiful elogy have offered the world an amazing glimpse of who we can be, and how we can see this world, if we so choose. I can only speak from what I have received from your posts and your books. I have chosen to remain off of twitter much for the reasons you outlined here. Life doesn't occur- or shouldn't – in soundbites. Context and continuity, along with actions are what make up the story of each of us. From your writing, I have gathered this: You are a man, whose cats are persons, family, not property. You honor their personalities for the individuals they are. And you love them all with all that you are. You are a thoughtful person who appreciates kindness and true friendship, and you are very protective of that. You are a tremendous writer who has the ability to offer wisdom in multiple genres. You are someone who cares deeply and who is hurting immensely. You are absolutely right. I don't know you. But I do know how much joy your words have brought me many times when I was suffering my own staggering grief. And I do know how much pain you're in now. And for that I am so truly and completely sorry.
Oh Tom, I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing Shipley with the world. A cat who was much bigger than his body. We will miss him and his antics. Sending love your way from Canada…..
RIP Shipley
Nothing I can say will make a difference but I know you had to make the hardest decision in Shipley's best interest and I salute you for making it.
Thank you for this wonderful tribute to a special boy one could always tell how much you live him and I'm sure you don't need a (carpet hole) reminder.
So sorry to hear about Shipley. A fine cat, and if your books are any indication, well-loved – would that we might all be remembered with the same eloquence with which you brought him to those of use who were not lucky enough to have been sworn at by him in person.
This is so beautifully written and I'm so deeply sorry for your loss. My pangur looks very like Shipley and she is similarly sweary and bolshy and needy and funny and affectionate. I love your writing, have your books dotted around the house, and always look forward to new pieces. My heart breaks a bit that this piece is so sad but it's no less beautiful.xx
I'm so sorry to hear this news. The world will miss Shipley's energy and catness. He was, indeed, a fine figure of a cat. I'm sad your friend is gone.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss of Shipley. I have enjoyed getting to know your cats through your writing, and have cried many tears over the passing of The Bear and, now, Shipley. Your cats are lucky to have found such a loving home. x
Tom,
No words can express my feelings of sorrow for you, just as no words,no matter how eloquently put, can describe or convey the personality of our beloved furry friends and what they indeed mean to us as cat lovers. You never know someone until you live with them, and the same goes for cats. You learn each other's behavior's and routines and in turn learn to live together, not always in harmony. I don't presume to know you on any account or level, therefore I wouldn't dare to judge you. I have yet to read any of your books, although I intend to eventually, all I do know is you are a lover of cats and that is enough for me to be a fan. I love knowing that someone cares sooo deeply for these unique creatures. I too have loved and lost many cats in my life, of witch 18 years being the longest one has owned me… Sushi was her name. I guess I really just want to say thank you for opening up and sharing your cats and your feelings towards cats. It's a passion for sure. As I said in the beginning, I know no words can express the sorrow, but I am truly sorry.
Sad for you again. I've read your books and so have gotten to know that version of you and your kitties. Having lost three in 14 months in the last two years I get the piling of grief. We keep risking our hearts again. I too have one of those anonymous black cats that are hard to see except with our hearts.
Tom, I don't know you, however, you have brought your family of cats and the life you are willing to share to many people, me included, who take immense joy and also pain from your words and photography. I feel for you at this time as I remember my boy who sadly didn't quite make his 20th birthday and also as I look down at my own terminally sick Bear cat for whom sadly, the end is near. Please ignore the hateful remarks. Kindness is King. Look after yourself Tom. xx
'Corporate cock sponge' – one of the best ever. He will be sadly missed.
As the owner of an elderly cat, the 'decision' is on my mind as well. It's always hard, even when you know it's the right thing to do.
RIP Shipley.
Thinking of you and may all the trolls fingers drop off!
Alison & Pussy Macevoy
So sorry for your loss. It's so hard to loose them…especially 2 in such short time. Always love what you write and this eulogy is beautiful, made me cry.
Like so many others I came to your writing through the MySadCat twitter account, but I keep reading because there's so much more. Thank you for sharing Shipley with us. As an American in today's political climate I found his creative swearing inspirational and cathartic. I admit to passing a fair bit of time admiring Shipley's vocabulary and watching Malcolm Tucker supercuts on the internet, always trying to up my own game. Shipley always made me think of my own talky (but much less assertive) black cat, who passed in much the same sudden way, and I may have to go through some old pictures tonight, play some Willie Nelson and relive some memories. I'm grateful for your writing, and thank you again for what you share with us.
Kindness is, indeed, the only choice. So sorry about Shipley. Take care of yourself.
So sorry.
I'm so sorry for you. Reading it makes me feel better because i've lost my cat a few years ago and i've always felt kind of silly for being sad over a cat. It's just i loved her so much. You put it into words.
(SO sorry for my english, but I speak spanish, im from Argentina)
I'm so very sorry for your losses. The Bear and Shipley were very special – thank you for sharing them.
Dear Tom, Roscoe and Ralph,
I am so sad to hear about Mr Bollocks Fucktrousers, a.k.a Shipley. I always thought of him as a needy genius; this opinion was strengthened when I read peer-reviewed research last year that individuals who swear a lot have higher intelligence. The breadth of his vocabulary seemed intergalactic at times. Tom, thank you for sharing your and your furbags' lives with us. Please don't let the obnoxious online comments get to you. There are far more people with bigger hearts and less narrow outlooks on life who love your writing and your cats….you seem not too much of a cockwomble too 🙂
In honour of Shipley, I intend to swear every hour, on the hour, for the rest of this week. Words on my list include furry fucktrousers (of course), cockwomble, shitpot twat willy, dipshit bell end and cock-juggling arsebadger.
I am so sorry you have lost Shipley. It is a terrible pain. They take up so little physical space yet are huge in every other sense. Keep your heart warm, Mr Cox.
I'm in tears with you once again,I have an 18 year old black cat and this is a reminder that all the best things must come to an end- Shipley,as did The Bear,was a much loved cat and had a happy life with you.
Sending love and hugs from New Zealand xxxx
As heartbreakingly sad it is to picture you without Shipley (even though many of us have never met him, or you)we can't but help insert ourselves in the experience as we recall our own losses. The beauty here, at least for me, is the outpouring of love, affection and sincere appreciation for Shipley, and you. In that you've shared so much of your life and your cats, and also, their passing. The world's a bit mad right now, so I want to truly thank you for the opportunity to witness the INVOLVEMENT, the REACTION, the CONNECTION you've created through your writing. That seems quite wonderful to me. Not to mention the proliferance of f-bombs, as we call them in North America, in these comments and Twitter. That's just fucking awesome. Rest easy Shipley, and enjoy spreading the joy of sweariness in the heavens.
Thank you for the generous way that you share your life. You have made me love your cats too, and for the second time in as many months I grieve for a cat I know but never met. You are an extraordinary man Tom Cox. I love your photos, your humor and your kind spirit.
So sorry to hear about Shipley. Thank you for sharing his wonderful character a little bit with us random internet-people. <3
I am so sorry for your loss. I discovered you and your furry friends because of The Bear being shared by one of my facebook friends, and as a cat lover myself I wanted to read more. My mom and I both loved the books, because what's better than to read about cats (especially while snuggling cats!). Shipley's antics always brought a smile to my face. Thank you for sharing him with us, he was very loved.
So very, very sorry for your loss. But thank you for sharing your life's impressions with your readers…We are better people for it.
Heartbreaking for you. Two huge holes.
All the best Tom & Ralph & Roscoe. Take care of all that you love and I hope that your pain will soften and that the sun will soon shine brighter. Paul & Deb & Light Fandango
I am so very sorry to hear of Shipley's passing, especially so soon after The Bear. I truly enjoyed becoming acquainted with each of them, and your entire brood (fur-covered and humans) through your books and blog posts, so thank you for sharing them with an entire world of strangers. Please take care, and take comfort knowing that because of your art, countless, anonymous strangers fell head over heels in love with wise The Bear, foul-mouthed Shipley, the most handsomest cat in the world (Ralph) darling, stealthy Roscoe, and all the rest. Hugs from the States.
Tom, I was gifted your books recently. Have enjoyed reading about your kitties so much. Sad to know Shipley has gone to join The Bear.
There are no words, just tears. We never have them long enough…
Joanne
Though it may not be any solace, it is nonetheless worth mentioning that I for one do wish I knew the real you. My assumption is that I would like you — not for happiness and fluff but for what I perceive as a bit of petulance and eternal sorrow mixed with the ability to see beauty in the littlest things. And, well yes, cats. Always cats. Sending resonate purrs from oversea friends Penelope (white and black) and Trouvé (black and white).
That was a moving tribute. I understand the hard decision of what is doing the right thing for a beloved pet as opposed to our desire to keep them here with us. I cry with you dear Tom, as I know your heartache. Take comfort in knowing that the Bear was there to welcome him home.
So sorry to read this Tom. I know how you feel. I lost my Pandora in May last year and, although it was expected at some time because she had chronic renal disease, I am still in shock and grief. At my son's request we had her cremated so she could stay with us but I am still unable to look at or touch her casket. She was probably the least known of my three cats. Velvet is the character and Athena is the baby. Pandora was just mine and didn't want to know anything about anyone but her immediate family. People said she was aloof and unloving, but I know that the other two would scoot off the bed when the food was being doled out but Pandora would prefer to stay with me. They are all special, but some are even more so. Love to you all. X
So sorry for your loss of Shipley, Tom. You gave him a great life. Thank you for sharing him with us through your wonderful books.
Carol
I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how hard this must be. I loved reading about Shipley. Thank you for sharing him with us. Please try to ignore the callous bastards who don't get it.
I think you are an amazing writer, and I'm really looking forward to reading your next book. Please take care.
Dear Tom, everything I wanted to say is already said in the previous posts. So, take care man and all the best to you.
I just want to day I love you. And your cats. And your sheep friends. Seriously I love you from over here in Canada.
Oh darling Shipley, how sad I am to see you leave us, you magnificently sweary little chap. So sorry for your loss Tom, I can only begin to imagine how you must be feeling; lots of love to you, Ralph, and Roscoe.
Sweary cats are a constant reminder not to take our lives too seriously. They sneer and grumble and generally disdain the tendency of humans to get too full of ourselves.
You have written a magnificent ode to a cat who lived every day right up to the point where he couldn't. I have had cats like that. I am sorry for your loss, but happy that you had the time together. Deep breath. Hug your remaining kits, and when the time is right, rescue another one.
I like all your cats equally, they are all unique, like friends- and that's what makes them special. You seem to me like a really cool guy who loves his cats and the people he calls friends. My heart goes out to you. Thank you for sharing your cats and yourself with us. Peace
Tom, I'm so sorry about Shipley. Thank you for sharing a little bit of him with us.
I love your writing Tom and, in common with everyone else (surely!) that's encountered your books, I'm entirely enamoured with your cats. I wish I had the talent to bring my own pack to life so vibrantly!
Reading is my way of coping with the most difficult times in my life – such as when Mum's cancer returned in 2014, through to when we lost her a year later. During that time I reread all of your books (that I had at the time). I found solace in becoming utterly absorbed in someone else's world. Although the Bear was a beautiful soul, Shipley was my favourite because of his FUCK YOU WORLD! attitude (of which, as an aspiring anarchist, I highly approve) and because he made me laugh. I remember introducing his @MySwearyCat Twitter feed to a colleague at work. He laughed so hard his nose ran. Proper can't-get-your-breath laughter from both of us as we scrolled through Shipley's colourful posts.
I'd been thinking about Mum tonight, and how it was at the end. Thinking about how short and precious life is, and how tightly we need to hold those that we love. How much we should treasure those that bring us joy – indeed every moment of joy. So I came upon this news and read your heart-rending eulogy with blurry eyes.
Thank you for sharing such raw emotion. Such things connect us all. We all understand love and grief. And thank you for your wonderful writing, your wonderful stories and for letting us share your wonderful cat-filled world. Long may you continue.
RIP Shipley. xxx
Oh Tom, Ralph and Roscoe, I am so very sorry for the loss of Shipley, so soon after the loss of The Bear. I know that your writings here, must be a great way to let some pain out, with the striking of the keys as you pour your heart out. Wish you knew how your readers and followers knew just what to say right now. My wish is for Shipley & The Bear to come to your dreams, your visions as you will be reminded of every inch of your house, bed, feeding station, hole in the carpet, the grounds they loved to roam….I am looking at my little house now, seeing our beloved Baxter (Ralph's total look alike) and remember his favorite places to sit to look out the windows at the Roadrunners and Quail, and people go by. Baxter passed very similar to Shipley, noticing his back legs wouldn't hold him up. After two weeks, many tests, vet visits, special food / diet, our sweet furry boy cat looked up at me and meowed the saddest meow, and I knew that was his cry for …. please let me go. Crying for days, grieving him always, loving him forever. One fine day, we will all be reunited with our furry pets, very very special members of our families. Wish I could give you hugs in person. Thank you for sharing the lives of your sweet, sassy, swearing, silly, very loved cats with us. I will cherish your books even more now. Shipley, may you and your brother The Bear rest in Pet Heaven pain free forevermore. Ralph & Roscoe, cuddle up way more to your sad broken hearted humans; I know you will feel the loss too.
(((((Big Hugs from Sandi, in Arizona…USA)))))
I'm sorry, mate. This is a lovely tribute. Looking forward to the new book.
This is a beautiful essay. Yes we are more than Cat Parents, but yet identified by such. Your pain is felt by those of us that follow you, yet so is your humor, your walks, your music and other parts of you. As a catmom I understand your psin. As a genealogy librarian, a friend a sister and much more, thank you for sharing other parts of you. As a multiple cat parent i understand how one can get lost among the others when one is some prominent. We love them all for their individuality yet often are identified by one. May Shipley rest in peace. Hugs from Texas…Sue Kaufman
Oh Tom, it's so hard to believe you've lost Shipley so soon after The Bear. Sometimes the universe is an unfair and cruel place. But thank you – as always – for making me laugh out loud, through my tears. May it comfort you, just a bit, to know that Shipley and The Bear are deeply missed by so many who have come to know them through your books and blog. I will go through the rest of my life wishing I could swear like Shipley.
I'm so sorry for you loss, Tom. The Bear and Shipley have made me smile for years. I don't know if it will help, but please know how many people share your grief and wish you (and George and Roscoe) well.
I had to make that choice quickly too, and my vet was wonderful. I got to spend that time with Millie, but I regret not telling her I love her. I was in tears and she always go so upset when I cried – I didn't want her to hear the tears and get upset. She went peacefully, after a long illness, so it wasn't totally unexpected, but it is still hard. When a pet is such a part of your life – a friend you've had for years, it can be hard. I put Millie to sleep two years ago today, and I still miss her. Even though I've adopted another cat who I love, Millie was with me through so much. There are just some pets that were meant to be in your life, and we carry them with us, in our hearts, forever.
So sorry. So very sorry.
We have a Shipley – his name is Nipper. His twin, Buddy, was a friendlier version and we were devastated to lose him. I dread the day when Nipper leaves us, too.
Peace to you. Love to you and your pride.
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss of Shipley. When I first read about him in your books, I thought your expression of his meowing as swearing to be genius. Since then, I think of my cat's noisy demands as little rants of profanity.
So, from a terribly rainy California on a grey afternoon, I send you my warmest regards (if that can be done through a computer screen). Thank you for sharing what you do with us — words, photos, felines.
RIP dear cat.
I'm so sorry, Tom.
Oh Tom, I am so sorry for your loss and just two months since The Bear's passing. I do understand what you mean when you said that Shipley's passing hit you harder than the loss of The Bear. I have had many cats in my life but when Amelie died in Nov 2013, a large part of my heart died with her. She also had kidney disease. I still grieve for her and miss her more every day. I think that loving them and providing a good life is what we do in exchange for unconditional love. They are our friends and companions through all of life's challenges. I know that your good memories of Shipley and his sweary self will get you through the hard times. Sending my love and a hug from one cat parent to another. Theresa aka beadnutt1953@yahoo.com
I'm brokenhearted for you. Know that many of us didn't believe Shipley to be less and loved him in his own right. We also know we can't know in tweets and don't seek to pigeonhole you based on them. I will keep you and your kitties in my thoughts. Peace.
Mere words of condolence seem woefully inadequate, but I will offer them nonetheless: I am deeply sorry for your loss, and thank you for allowing us a look at your gloriously foulmouthed friend as you knew him.
Rest gently, Shipley.
I am so happy you had the many years with him that you did and sorry for the pain of missing him now. Great love to you.
Dear Tom. I am so incredibly sorry about passing of your wonderful, foulmouthed, gregarious friend Shipley! It breaks my heart that there will no longer be photos or updates about his adventures and it feels as if I've lost a cat of my own. I was lucky to get to know him through your books where every mention of his wild punk ways invariably brought a smile to my face and made me laugh. Just like The Bear he will continue to live on in your writing and will not be forgotten. My thoughts are with you…
I'm so sorry you have lost this beloved and characterful cat. It must have been a terribly hard decision to make to let him go, but you were thinking of his comfort and well-being to the end. From reading your books and this website I'm really struck by the level of love and attention you give your cats and I think they live very good lives. I enjoyed reading about Shipley and have shed some tears for him, reading your post this morning. How could anyone confuse him with The Bear? He was unique.
The internet can be a cruel and stupid place. What strikes me about it is that, while it can offer connection with wonderful people one wouldn't otherwise have any dealings with, it's also a place in which one can be grossly misunderstood to a degree that's almost inconceivable in face-to-face life. It's not just the lack of context, it's encountering people who import an utterly different context, who make totally different assumptions about what's funny, or what an allusion might allude to, or what's obviously true. Plus there is, often, the lack of a presumption of good intent. When we talk to our friends we fill in the gaps in the conversation in a charitable way – we assume that comments are relevant, meant well etc. On the internet, perhaps especially on Twitter, that often doesn't happen. And it's exhausting. But as someone who loves your short writing as well as your long, I'm glad you make the effort.
Tom, another beautiful piece of writing. So sorry your home will be missing yet another piece of its soul. The internet is just an extension of the real world, which unfortunately can be as cruel as it is sublime. I hope you find your inner Shipley to just say 'lick my furry bellstick' to the lot of them. Thank you for all that you do. RIP beautiful Shipley.
I lost my cat on the exact same day last year, so this hit me hard. Although I never knew Shipley personally, his presence on the internet always brightened up my day.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. I hope you are coping well, and send hugs to Roscoe and Ralph.
Love you, love your cats, love your words. I cried like a baby after reading about The Bear's passing, and this hits me just as hard. I'm a cat lover through-and-through, but I think it's more a testament to your writing, really, because I feel like I know these cats… with their huge personalities, and so I feel the hugeness of the loss.
I've got two black cats here with me (one of whom has her ass halfway on the keyboard atm, making typing a task…but anyways), I'll be giving them extra love and appreciation today. Thanks for sharing yours with us. Much love.
I don't ever comment, for the exact reason that I would never assume to really know anything about the 'real' you; I simply enjoy your writing for what it is. But the fact that today you've talked about that exact thing made this feel like the right time to do so. Having said that, there's nothing specific I wanted to say. In fact I don't know what to say. I just wanted to acknowledge what you'd written, as well as express my sadness and understanding for your loss of a great friend. There is a lot of kindness out there, but the online world seems to cause some people to forget how to be kind. It's a strange place.
Take care, and be kind to yourself ?
I am so sorry for your loss. I fell in love with all of your cats through your books, and I cannot thank you enough for sharing them with us.
I don't care what anyone says, cats are as loved a family members, and it is a huge part of your life when one passes away.
You have wonderfukl memories, and both the Bear and SHipley have had an amazing loving life with you. Thank god it was you that brought up these wonderful creatures as no one could have written so beautifully about them.
Oh Tom, I am so desperately sorry. I feel for you. I have loved reading about you and your beloved fur babies through your books. I lost my Bella in September whilst I was battling cancer and now I am feeling the excruciating pain of knowing that my dear Cleo's time is most likely near. I saw your heading and just burst into tears. For so many reasons. The Bear. Now Shipley. Two beautiful souls. You don't know me, I don't know you personally, but I just want to send you warm hugs anyway. It just hurts so much to lose them.
Hi Tom,
Firstly, I'd like to say that I'm very sorry for your loss. Losing a friend is the worst thing in the world and I don't think people put enough value on what it's like to lose a pet friend. A cat is a friend who is literally always there for you. Good day, bad day, whatever, a cat doesn't care or judge, cats see us at our very worst and they're still just there, being our friends. No human could ever match that kind of companionship. There's a quote I read that helped me when I lost a human friend a few years ago but I like to share it with people who have lost their pets because I think it sums up the feeling so well:
Losses are very personal and comparisons never apply. No loss counts more than another. It is your loss that counts for you. It is your loss that affects you. Your loss is deep and deserves your personal attention without comparison. You are the only one who can survey the magnitude of your loss. No one will ever know the meaning of what was shared, the deepness of the void that shadows your future. You alone know your loss.
To me, that quote is important because it combats when people say "it was just a cat", there is no such thing as "just a cat", you lost a friend and you deserve to grieve over that with the same dignity as anyone who has lost someone they love. It is not fair or kind for someone who has had a "bigger" tragedy to judge you for your reaction to your loss, everyone is entitled to feel grief when they lose someone they love, cat or human.
Secondly, I would just like to thank you for sharing your cats with the world. I have read all your cat books and relate so intensely to all of them. I'm just a cat loving woman, here in little New Zealand, half way around the world but your books made me feel proud to be a "crazy cat lady". You are the kind of cat guardian I aim to be with my 4 cats (Tigger, Jake, Mandy and Will). I loved Shipley and The Bear and feel your loss as if I knew the boys myself, in real life. You write so brilliantly, in such detail, it feels like you truly captured their personalities and put them into words that made us all know and love them like you do.
Lastly, I just want to encourage you to never stop doing what you're doing. I know people are cruel and hateful on the Internet but there are also fans like me, who love reading your writing. Reading about your cats and your dad and the rest of your crazy, country life is so interesting and enjoyable. Your books have made me laugh and cry, as have these beautiful tributes to Shipley and The Bear. Please don't let a few idiotic people bring you down, be a Shipley and say "kiss my hairy balls, fuckfaces!"
Tory, New Zealand.
Very sorry to be reading your beautiful piece about Shipley's end. As with The Bear,
I am sure we will all be hugging our beloved cats that little bit tighter.
Oh Tom. It's so strange that you don't know me, as through your books and your love of cats I feel we are kindred spirits and friends. And as a friend I am so very sorry, what a blow to come so soon after The Bear. Sending much love.
Farewell Shipley, he felt like an honorary friend through your writing. Sending you my condolences.
Losing my two 16 year-old cats in 2014 was heart-breaking. Reading your posts brought it all back….but happy memories surface and we are better people having loved and received love from these amazing animals.
Thank you Tom, We recently lost 2 of our furry friends, Wonderful Cretan ferals with attitude. Jacko, loud and manic and Ricky with many bits missing (tail, ears and front paw) within 3 weeks of each other. So sending you love and kind thoughts, it's hard but didn't we have a great time with them….
I am very sorry to hear this, Tom. Shipley sounds like an awesome mogbeast – one of a kind.
I am also sorry to hear that complete strangers are abusive towards you on the internet.
I get people assuming things about me, too, but I usually just think "what a wanker". It can still be painful – especially if you bare your soul more than I do in blogging and books.
I'm so sorry to hear about Shippley's death. We had to make the decision to put our beloved cat Merlyn to sleep, when he got terribly ill with FIV. It was once of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make and sometimes I still, 2.5 years on, still feel guilty about. I go through a lot of 'what ifs', despite having tried everything and the Vet saying there was nothing else they could do. I understand just how hard it must have been to make the decision for Shipley, and ache for your loss.
How hard it must be for you, losing two cats in such a short space of time. If it helps, I always feel you love each cat as much as the other. Each has their own personality and your love for each seemed equal.
The internet can be a hard place at times, but it can also be a good place. Just be yourself and anyone else can just fuck off. It's your Twitter account, they can choose not to follow/engage.
Thank you for sharing the news of Shipley's death with us. I'm bawling for him just as I did The Bear. We will miss Sweary Cat. No doubt he is in cat heaven abusing everyone with his usual verve. Hugs to you Tom.
Oh Tom. My heart ached as I read the sad news about Shipley. I loved seeing the photos of him upside on your lap, paws akimbo, wanting tickles. The feline gods have certainly been very hard on you this past few months but I hope that Ralph and Roscoe are both doing well. Perhaps it will soon be time for you to give another small furry creature the chance to enjoy the love and lifestyle Shipley and The Bear thrived on so well for so long. Thank you for the wonderful writing, the shared love of cats and your openness.
I actually said OH NO out loud in the office when I read this, an hour ago. I am heart-sore for you. 30 years of being owned by cats, and having to say goodbye to many means I can say I truly empathize.
Only this morning me and our 2 current cays, Pagan and Minxy-mou were lying in bed listening to husband chuckling away…he was on the loo, reading The The Good and Bad and the Furry, which he got me for Christmas, and is his current Morning Book, (I devoured mine at one sitting – not on the loo! ). What a lot of fun and joy your cats have bought to us, as well as you, and each other and everyone else out there.
So very very sorry. What a fabulous little character he sounded.
Sleep tight Shipley. Sweetest dreams.
Thank you for sharing all four kitties with us. I'm horribly allergic to cats – so I have to enjoy them vicariously.
That sounds like a horrible day. But there will be better days, when you're ready for them.
*hugs*
I did already try and post, but am rubbish at this stuff, so have ho clue where it went or if I managed it Anyway. I just wanted to say, having now fully read your article, instead of just the first part, with the Shipley news, what a brilliant piece that is, I couldn't agree more about social media which, as an utter techno-ludditie I constantly get wrong! I do a sort of blog on Facebook and the amount of times I seem to upset or even outrage people by what I think are funny, or off centre comments and views to do with my life and my cats makes me despair!! And give up, which I do a regular basis until I forget the angst and start the whole thing off again. And that's without ever venturing onto Twitter. Long live, authors like you, and books, and proper well though out and sensitivity written pieces as this was.
A truly fabulous tribute, Tom. Having lost two furry companions myself I have some understanding of how raw this must be for you. Sending love. x
So sorry, I know the pain…
I felt very sad to hear about the beautiful sweary Shipley, and having just read this wonderful piece you've written Tom, I have tears pouring down my face. One of my cats is currently shouting at me (she worries when anyone in the family is upset) & I have just cuddled her (perhaps a little too tightly!). It's so hard losing our little furry pals, but I for one would rather endure the pain of this loss than never have had the privilege & pleasure of a life spent with these wonderful little souls (& giving them the life that they deserve). I hope you take comfort from your memories & all the wonderful photos of Shipley, keep writing Tom! Don't ever let the b******s get you down, and yes, I do believe that kindness is they key to inner happiness!
Aw dear Shipley, RIP marvellous cat. I am so sorry for your loss, Tom, I will really miss Shipley and his wonderful turns of phrase. I loved the fact he usually had his teeth on show, mid-chat, in his photos but the one of him upside down on the cushion is fabulous too. You did the right and kindest thing, but I know it hurts. You're right about social media – it's turning the world upside down and it's hard not to be affected by it. I preferred it when we were all a bit mysterious. Though then I wouldn't know about Sweary Cat – bless his foul-mouthed soul. Be kind to yourself, and please know that the vast (VAST!) majority of us are on your side and the others are a waste of atoms. RIP SHIPLEY!
Thank you, Tom, for your words. Your words always leave me with hope – something that the Internet (or is is in lower case internet in this case?) doesn't always provide. Reading about Shipley's death while listening to Smith Street Band, and drinking red wine leaves me wrung out. I wish I could give you what you give me.
Can one love a writer and his cats whom one has never known?
Tom, you have my deepest sympathy and understanding.
Ruth x
I could write a lot here, but I'll keep it short.
Thank you, Tom, for all the words. Do what you've got to do, but I hope you're able to keep sharing as much as you have been so far.
Very much looking forward to reading the new book – I've no doubt it will be a suitable tribute to The Bear and Shipley, even if there is minimal cat-based content.
Cheers.
Tom, I can't imagine how hard it was to write this. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. We all knew he'd been ill and I know we all appreciate your letting us know. This was such a beautiful tribute to Lovely Shipley. I've enjoyed all of the stories about him, and love his Twitter account. Sending many warm hugs across the ocean to you and to Ralph and Roscoe. I feel like it's time for a reread of your books. So much love to you.
Peg
I'm so sorry for your loss – losing a pet is heartbreaking. I choose to imagine that Shipley and the Bear are now keeping one another company – swearing and reading poetry.
Tom… we lost our cat, Jack, last month in the exact same circumstances… one minute here, the next – gone. And, like Shipley, he has left this enormous hole in our lives. He was definitely a "dog cat"… I'm sure you know what I mean. We loved him so so much… we will miss him forever. We all knew Shipley through you, your books, social media… and we loved him too so it's incredibly wonderful of you to share your story with us. You're right that Social Media has it's bad, evil nasty face… but turn it over, and it gave us you – and Shipley and The Bear… We all cry together for the loss of our beloved cats… they are family. Big hugs. Rest in Peace little guy… go play with Jack… you'd have gotten along really well xxxx
So sorry to hear about your loss, Tom. I have sobbed, reading your beautiful tribute, for your loss and , selfishly , remembering cat friends I have lost and will lose in the future. I'm currently reading your books and absolutely loving them, becoming acquainted with your cats and their individual personalities and your descriptions and appreciation of the great outdoors, not to mention the human highs and lows. The internet can be an infuriating and daunting "place" at times but I thank it for bringing writing like yours to my attention. Sending hugs ( I know internet hugs are meaningless…but it would be a real one if possible) and extra scritches to Ralph and Roscoe. x
So heartbreaking for you Tom. I loved your obvious joy in his rock and roll irreverence. Your pieces moved me to uncontrollable tears, the depth of your love for both of them was truly magical. Take care of yourself xx
Oh Tom, sorry to hear about beautiful Shipley so soon after the Bear. I feel your sadness. Shipley was a little beaut x
I had tears reading this difficult piece, but also through that came a chuckle. Shipley was truely a class act friend, and the loss of a friend hurts like hell. I lost three of my best last year, broken hearted and lost without them, saw two ol snagglepusses on the RSPCA internet, who's owner had died needed a home. THey knew how I felt, afterall they lost their person. People thought I was mad taking in two cats of 15 and 12, but these two gingerpuds have brought pure joy to my world in just their first 6 months.
See, I believe social media can do so much good too. I wouldn't have found my new best friends without it. I also wouldn't ever have heard of inspirational writer, 70s lover, gentle nature loving, cat bloke Tom Cox.
Tom I hope you read what people have written in response to your blog. I for one would totally miss, your pictures that make me miss what I love about England, your funny cat quips, that remind us all that cats are people to, but all of that leads us to your writing and that's bigger than any small minded individuals jealous rant on a fleeting piece of social media. bless you and the pusses past and present.
I just wanted to add my small voice to the chorus of kindness and sympathy. I'm so sorry that two of your friends have gone, but I'm so thankful that you allowed us to know them, and in the process, you. Rest assured that they didn't want to leave you, either, but love doesn't end so easily as life.
So sorry to hear this news Tom.?
Hi Tom. What a beautifully written piece. Anyone who reads your work and thinks it's just about cats couldn't be more wrong. It's about life, love, nature and so much more. My sincerest thoughts go out to you. You and your cats are part of my life.
I'm so sorry for your loss of Shipley, on top of losing The Bear last year . I was never a typical cat book reader, but i really enjoyed reading your books, and coming to know a little bit about your clan of cats through your books and their social media accounts.
Reading your post today made me cry, you have a talent for getting people emotionally involved in the story you tell, and from many of the comments to this post it is clear I'm not the only one who feels so sad for you mourning your friend today. Take care of yourself, Roscoe and Ralph.
Dear Tom…this one took much, much longer to read. Through tears and yes, some laughs at those wonderful epitaphs from Shipley. I've only recently discovered your blog and books and I love every word. I live in a rural part of upstate New York-an old country ranch house-complete with a few disorderly barn cats, visiting ferals and my own brood of 20 indoor rescues-all with their own respective personalities.(including a couple of sweary ones!) I definitely can relate to the rewards and heartbreak of sharing my life with these cats. At one point or another, they have probably saved me from myself. RIP Shipley and Bear!
"The sheer, claw-happy gobshite force of his will".
What a cat Shipley was – I'm so sorry for your loss.
Go gently but with your usual foul mouth Shipley, you will be much missed . Tom my heart goes out to you and thank you for letting us know xx
So sorry for your loss I'm in tears so I can imagine how you are feeling. I have my own sweary cat like Shipley he's black, so I always imagine he's using some of the expletives that Shipley used and I always chuckle at the thought of just what he's calling the other half especially at tea time
Shipley was a star in his own right and is immortalised in your beautiful books his star shines as bright as The Bears star and they will never be forgotten
Once again so so very sorry for your loss xxxx
I send you condolences as a fellow human being and a fellow cat lover. I send you the poem below because of something you said in your post. May it give you comfort.
*******
Kindness
by Naomi Shihab Nye
Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.
Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.
Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you every where
like a shadow or a friend.
************
May you continue to know kindness,
Laura
We are so sorry to hear about Shipley. Purrs…..
Tom, Raaaalph & Roscoe, I am so upset at the latest news regarding Shipley… I thought of him yesterday and sent you a tweet asking if he was o.k. as you had been quiet and I just had a feeling…. this is the worst news, two beautiful cats gone in such a short time, just heart-breaking…. Everyone who has ever had a cat knows exactly what you're going through now, so, so sad..
Wonder how Raalllph is feeling, wonder if he knows he's lost his brother? Bless him and Roscoe.
Am thinking of you Tom, although I never met either the great The Bear or beauty boy Shipley, I feel I know every single thing about them through your wonderful books and daily twitter messages, will miss him so much, his swearing made me laugh out loud, beauty boy you will be missed so much Kathy xx
Tom, Raaaalph & Roscoe, I am so upset at the latest news regarding Shipley… I thought of him yesterday and sent you a tweet asking if he was o.k. as you had been quiet and I just had a feeling…. this is the worst news, two beautiful cats gone in such a short time, just heart-breaking…. Everyone who has ever had a cat knows exactly what you're going through now, so, so sad..
Wonder how Raalllph is feeling, wonder if he knows he's lost his brother? Bless him and Roscoe.
Am thinking of you Tom, although I never met either the great The Bear or beauty boy Shipley, I feel I know every single thing about them through your wonderful books and daily twitter messages, will miss him so much, his swearing made me laugh out loud, beauty boy you will be missed so much Kathy xx
Just found your story via my daughter's tweet – tears for you and your loss. We lost one elderly cat last year, another slowing down as he approaches 17 years of being loved. Your black cats look adorable, memories of them precious. Our adopted black cat has bad habits too – never quite sure what he is thinking! best wishes from Cornwall.
If there is anything I've learned in my beloved U.S. this past year, it's that there is a significant percentage of people who won't get "get" other folks or try to get other folks. They view others through their strongly colored lens – we all do to some extent, but some more so than others. They will observe, do and say what they will observe, do and say; and in the way they want to do it.
You know who you are and you have a legion of supporters who want the best for you. Ignore the rest and let them be. I remember Sting in an interview saying how he was so surprised when he learned that fans thought "Every Breath You Take" was a love song, when it was in fact about stalking. People's perceptions are different. I do think that some folks generally understand an artist's/creator's purpose better than other folks; but even then there are different perspectives on a creator's work and sometimes that's really good and encouraging. Who knows how many people you have had a positive influence on, and in how many ways?
Love and hug to you from this supporter and many others, I'm sure. I am not religious, but I see that we all live on through our impact on others. That says a lot for both Shipley and you. Well done, Tom Cox.
So sorry to hear about Shipley.
So sorry to hear about Shipley.
When I read this headline today I shouted aloud "Oh no, not Shipley!" Feeling sad for you Tom, so soon after the death of The Bear. I hope that the comments here can re assure you that for every internet oaf, there is a kind person out there who understands something of what you are trying to do as you write your books and send them into the world.
My little black buddy Panther has been gone three years now. I don't think I have ever before felt such utter anguish when i decided his time had come. I could have kept him going a bit longer but he was suffering and how could I allow my best friend to be in pain. As the injection was administered Panther cast his wonderful green eyes at me one last time and they seemed to say "it's alright, it's time" but my heart was breaking into a million pieces. Ironically his three contemporaries, Cisco and Grisabel also departed within months of Panther's passing, as if they wanted to stay together. One imagines so much crazy stuff when one is besotted with animals. I still imagine periodically that I see Panther in my peripheral vision. The year after he died a little grey cat one day walked down the hill behind my house and demanded to be admitted to the family. She looked straight into my face and appeared to say, "here I am. Panther sent me to sort you out". I don't think she is Panther reincarnated although I do believe that can happen but there is a connection. My cats have always managed to look after me when it was their time to pass. Losing a beloved animal is for me the hardest of life's experiences but the love one feels never goes away.
I feel for you Tom, so very much but you must always remember that your cats have had the very best that a cat could ever have.
Thank you for sharing your precious cats with us. Your gift of writing expresses so well the feeling of loss, sadness and such love for cats. I am sad for your loss. Kind regards.Jill
Oh man, I am so sad for you and so sorry. Lovely Shipley, he sounds much like my Fred cat who wails in the night so he can come and climb all over me, purring and padding and dribbling like a loon. Thank you for this piece of writing. I have read your books and I also enjoy looking through your tweets. You are one of those writers who communicates the large things in life through all the small observations, reflecting so well what it is to be human. You and your words make the world a nicer place, so thank you, again, for sharing your thoughts. RIP Shipley.
First, deep sympathy for the loss of your beloved. Thank you for your memorial post. My beloved Timber, also often a neck scarf, died on the wee morning of January 2. Your post helps me with my own grief, and it is important to thank you for that. Timber was with me almost 20 years. Many people do not understand the importance of the role of our animal companions. Timber had kidney issues and her last night happened quick, and startling to me, but I am ever grateful I could stay with her as she put her furry face on my hand before she lost consciousness. I was helpless, middle of the night and nothing could save her then. It helps to hear someone else talk about such loss. And that is all I can muster at this point, choked up and teary eyed. Thank you.♡
Once again crying and laughing, the laughing feeling like a momentary guilty pleasure. A beautiful heart-rending tribute. I have no more words except thank you. x
Tom, words are meaningless at a time like this. Each of our furry friends is unique and special in their own way, no two quite alike. When I read about The Bear leaving us the world was suddenly a bit dimmer and sadder, but The Bear lives on in our hearts and memories, as will gorgeous foul mouthed lovable Shipley.
I had hoped that you and Shipley would have many more healthy and happy years together but such was not to be. May it bring you some measure of comfort knowing that he left this world surrounded with your love, knowing that you were making the most difficult of decisions to let him go. Shipley left a giant sized talkative sweary hole in all our lives, and the expression furry fuck trousers will always make me smile.
Ignore those who would nit pick and analyze every word or photo you write or post. they are sad people with empty lives not worthy of your or any cats notice.
Wishing you many more happy and healthy years with Ralph and Roscoe, please give them both an extra bit of love and affection form myself and the two cats who so graciously allow me to live here and tend to their needs, wants and whims.
From Connecticut in the US, Leslie (upright biped), Edwina Alice Fast Paw (black silver striped Tabby) and Simon Jasper Ishmael (Coal black Left Pawed with green eyes)
What an absolutely elegant tragically funny truthfully heartbreaking wonderful elegy for your lost furry souls. Brilliant tribute to Shipley and your companions. In a world where anyone can say whatever they want, thank you for humor, bravery, courage,kindness, honesty and standing up when you feel like lying down. You honor yourself and their memories with your words. Time spent with a cat, or a good book about a cat, is never wasted. Best Tom!
Ah no Tom, so sorry to read about Shipley. Cried a lot reading this, lost my lovely Smudge 7 years ago also aged 16 with kidney failure. Like Shipley, she was my shadow. I still feel her around though, even with one fat lazy cat and two mad bastard kittens in the house. Ignore all the gobshites online, place is full of fuckwits.
I am so sorry that you have lost another of your companions, I have always loved reading about your cats and Shipley always made me laugh with his colourful language, he shall be much missed, furry fucktrousers forever.
I am so sorry to read about Shipley. May he rest in peace. I lost all 3 of my previous cats within a few months of each other, 2 were very old, one seemed young at 15. It was hard, but the joy from my memories made it bearable. My dog grieved when my last cat died, they would eat together out of the same bowl at the same time and were surprising friends. The memory still makes me smile.
I wish you lots of joy from the memories of your cats!
I had to have my black cat (just short of 20, a one eyed charming rogue with a deep hatred of pigeons) put down between Christmas and new year. Our vet was exactly the kind of vet you need in those circumstances, thankfully.
I left a brief message on Twitter when I first saw your tweet about Shipley, but couldn't comment here last night after reading your lovely eulogy;I couldn't find the right words. I still don't think I can. Only to say that it's a testament to your writing that I've been in tears twice in so many months over cats I've never met. Thank you for sharing their stories. Social media can be a dreadful place sometimes, but people like you make it so, so much better. I hope that all the kind messages you've received from like minded folk go in some way to ease your pain. Shipley sounded like an amazing cat,rest in peace wee fella. Xx
I half expected him to claw his way up through the soil and back out into the bright day, with a defiant shout of “Piss whiskers!”
I often tell people how it was a writing by John Irving which made me realize I would never write as good but that I really, really need to do it. I don't remember exactly what the sentence says but I remember the power behind it, how it made me laugh out loud as I cried with heartbreak.
Same thing happened many years afterward when I read about Shipley, when he was ill in his younger days. The part where you wanted to celebrate his recovery thus decided to spoil him and he ended up being suspicious. I related to that more than what should be healthy and I laughed when I read that, feeling my heart break a little for that furry foul mouth… who for all we knew, might have the aspiration of being your one and only cat.
Same thing happened again when I read this piece. That defiant zombie visualisation of Shipley trying to escape death made me laugh while I tried saying goodbye to this little black ball of fur I wish I could have met.
Aww Tom. Shipley was bloody marvellous and your books and blogs brought him into our living rooms in all his sweary glory. Really feel for you in your loss. Cats leave massive holes in our hearts as well as our carpets. Take care and ignore the fuckwits on Twitter. Only you know what your cats really meant to you xxxx
Very sad to hear.
Here's to all the cats we've loved and lost!
Dear Tom
I can't read this and not leave a heartfelt warm hug of cat spirited support for you at this sad time. It is another terrible loss for you.
Take care and enjoy the memories.
All the best
MaccKittySue xxxx
Hi Tom!
First, i would like to express my deep smpathy in your loss. I found Shipley on Twitter before i found you and, with his infinitely creative bad language, he led me to you. In fact, it was your post on him doing poorly which prompted me to take my own elderly feline companion into the vet for a check up. Deus is 16 and though she was not always my cat during her life, she makes mine better for knowing her. I didn't even know you were a writer yet, just a guy who had an affinity for cats and carefully distinguished his friends by whether or not they listened to psychedelic rock.
I am very sorry to hear of this loss. I've been taking time away from Twitter lately as it sometimes brings out a side of me i wish to diminish. But, as a fellow writer and friend of cats, i feel for you. Your outlook on life and writing, your walks and your "wild swimming" are inspiring to me. And i don't know if we will ever be actual friends, but i wanted to say thank you, for being who i think i see there. Stay you.
I will miss Shipley, in my own distant, internet way, but you have made him immortal, and that's about the nicest thing anyone could do for a foul-mouthed brigand like Shipley. ❤
we share a love of cats. as such, i think we suffer as much grief (if not sometimes more) when we lose a feline friend as when we lose a human in our life. thank you for your writing and for sharing your beloveds with us. as jane h said, "we all cry together…"
Weeping at work. Beautifully written Tom. x
Tom, I am so very sorry for your loss. I will miss Shipley's stories equally as much as I miss your tales about the Bear.
I am so sorry for your loss. Shipley was a wonderful boy.
Thank you for this blog, i have all four of your books, so The Bear , Shipley, Roscoe and of course handsome Ralph have been as close to me as my cats….So I'm sad and crying with you….thank you for all of your writings, your books, the blog, the twitter feeds and the Facebook stuff….and of course sharing your thoughts, experiences and family with all of us…love you
So sorry for your loss of Shipley and The Bear. And I'm sorry people on social media have been so awful to you. Losing pets is hard enough without assholes telling you to be more cheerful. It's good to have fans but you don't owe anyone anything. And anyway, true fans should be like true friends, and should understand that not everything can be sunshine and rainbows all the time, and that people change because they're people, not social media robots.
Best of luck! I love your writing, not only your cat writing, and I can't wait to read your new book.
Finally got round to reading this. It's so real, all of it. That bit "you could do what he said or wish you had done." exactly applies to our cat – she always gets her way! Noisily. So sorry for your losses, we all feel as if we know them, and we will miss them too. xx
I am so sorry for your loss.
I wish I didn't understand it as well as I do.
RIP Sweary Cat.
KSinFL
Dear Tom. I am not sure what I can say…but that I am so sorry you have lost another dear friend. I also want to tell you that whoever you are in your real life…the part of you that you share is just fine with me. (the things we know about people on the internet is such a small part of the whole, and no description fully defines us)
And I want very much to thank you for sharing your love for, and obvious enjoyment of, your furry family. Your writing let us get to know and love them too…and I am so grateful for that. You made Shipley a real and fully developed personality for us…like the Bear, and although I didn't know him, I totally understand your grief. We will all miss him too. Just not like you will, and for that i send best wishes for healing and peace. Blessings upon you for loving them, sharing them with us and letting us get a glimpse of your life with them.
All my sympathy,
From a fellow artist and cat person.
(not that either word defines me)
Just read this post. My heartfelt condolences to you and your loved ones for the loss of Shipley. We lost three of our beloved feline family members in four months from June-October last year. They were aged from 19 to possibly 13. They were and are and always will be LOVED. FAMILY. So we do share in your grief, as well as in your love and joy because Shipley and The Bear were part of your lives. Anything else would just be wasted words. <3 ((((((((^^)))))))) <3 Fly free, Shipley, forever Loved, and watch over your loved ones here on earth until reunification in due time. You were, are, and will always be loved by many.
Tom .. I rarely comment on peoples blogs but I have been in your shoes regarding the passing of our best friends, I lost two of our cats, Barney and Tigger, within a week from Christmas to New Year 2010. I vowed never to have another but found it almost impossible to not have a furry companion. Six months later and Rocky came to stay then Bear our black cat came as a pal for Rocky and my lap cat. I'm sure Barney and Tigger would have welcomed Shipley and The Bear to their new home. R.I.P boys.
Just back to your page after a few months away and devastated for you Tom, absolutely and for me also. Having read all your books I felt I knew Shipley intimately and he lives on in all our hearts. Damn cat companionship – it hurts us so bad when they go. I lost 4 in a year once and still miss them 10 years later with all my heart.
Thinking of you and hoping you can find consolation in the other rebrobates xxxxx
It feels like The Bear, Shipley, Roscoe and Ralph are cats I've known personally.
I know how gutted I felt at hearing of The Bear and now Shipley's departure from your lives, so it will be so much worse for you all.
I've lost enough of my own to know the pain that takes a piece of your soul with it, and in its place leaves a ragged hole.
I'm sorry that some people are so bloody heartless. Take a leaf out of Shipley's post, swear a little. And laugh a lot. That'll really p*ss the buggers off!
Hello Tom, so sorry for you. Yesterday, I've read your book "Le bon, la brute et le Toudou" (translation in french of one of your books – I live in France) and I hoped to learn more about The Bear, Shipley and Ralph by visiting your site… I felt so sad to learn their departure (The Bear in 2016 and Shipley recently) for the Rainbow Bridge. My Zébulon leaved me in 2009, since I've adopted others cats, but it seems to me he is always by my side, and the others before him too. In my skin, in my heart, and, of course in my mind every day…
Colibri, from the blog "Lettre de Zébulon le chat à Bruno M." (Bruno M. is a french reporter, he loves cats very much and have written books about his loving for cats, like you, he has inspirated mon blog (hope you understand what I mean, sorry my English is very bad!).
Hello The Bear and Shipley, welcome in the Happy Valley, over the Rainbow Bridge !
Zébulon
Tom, I'm the casual reader who knows you only as the man who loves his cats deeply. And I came back to your site today to reread your tribute to the bear. Months ago, your words touched me deeply as they resonated with my experienced with my Eve, who took the longer more painful way out a few years ago. With her there was that point that I felt her asking for me to help with her relief, and as sad as that was there was a long time to make decisions and say goodbye. But as I mentioned, I came back to you today, in hopes those words would comfort me again, as i unexpectedly said goodbye to my best friend of 18 years Connie 2 days ago. I was not expecting to be reading about Shipley. But right place, right time – your words are perfect again. Connies zest for life was so similar and her illness so sudden that within 24 hours of extensive tests i was faced with the same choice. The second guessing has been horrible, because there was no long period of time to watch a decline and make a decision, only a diagnosis that offered little hope for any quality of life if she managef to recover. And now I feel broken. This ray of sunshine that shone her love on me every moment has disappeared. Happy and seemingly healthy one day, then gone in an instant. You are right. It s harder that way – but only for us. As sad as i am though I am glad the decline was quick and the pain minimal.
I understand how you feel about social media, but I think the same can be said about any situation. Who really knows any of us? We are all so unique in our perceptions that noone else could ever truly understand us anyway and everyone is telling a story about who they think we are based more on the narrative they tell themselves about themself than on who we truly are.
Noone really gets us except the cats. And the dogs. Im not dogist :). The animals who feel who we really are and choose to give us their unconditional love anyway.
So, I only know you casually, and social media is to thank for that, but your words and your love for your furry family has been meaningful to me more than once. And for the part Shipley has played in that, I will always be grateful.
Thank you xx
Tom, I'm the casual reader who knows you only as the man who loves his cats deeply. And I came back to your site today to reread your tribute to the bear. Months ago, your words touched me deeply as they resonated with my experienced with my Eve, who took the longer more painful way out a few years ago. With her there was that point that I felt her asking for me to help with her relief, and as sad as that was there was a long time to make decisions and say goodbye. But as I mentioned, I came back to you today, in hopes those words would comfort me again, as i unexpectedly said goodbye to my best friend of 18 years Connie 2 days ago. I was not expecting to be reading about Shipley. But right place, right time – your words are perfect again. Connies zest for life was so similar and her illness so sudden that within 24 hours of extensive tests i was faced with the same choice. The second guessing has been horrible, because there was no long period of time to watch a decline and make a decision, only a diagnosis that offered little hope for any quality of life if she managef to recover. And now I feel broken. This ray of sunshine that shone her love on me every moment has disappeared. Happy and seemingly healthy one day, then gone in an instant. You are right. It s harder that way – but only for us. As sad as i am though I am glad the decline was quick and the pain minimal.
I understand how you feel about social media, but I think the same can be said about any situation. Who really knows any of us? We are all so unique in our perceptions that noone else could ever truly understand us anyway and everyone is telling a story about who they think we are based more on the narrative they tell themselves about themself than on who we truly are.
Noone really gets us except the cats. And the dogs. Im not dogist :). The animals who feel who we really are and choose to give us their unconditional love anyway.
So, I only know you casually, and social media is to thank for that, but your words and your love for your furry family has been meaningful to me more than once. And for the part Shipley has played in that, I will always be grateful.
Thank you xx
Hey , , I had just finished reading talk to the tail for the second time, when I Decided to log onto your website . The sad news of Shipley really hit me in the gut . Honestly I was surprised at how much it hurt. I can imagine how sad you feel, having lost my 16 year friend last Christmas to thyroid disease . I was seeing him out of the corner of my eye for months , and still find myself singing to him . Getting another cat has helped, and it is a constant surprise to me how different individual cats are. Myou new calico is a tripod stray who is a miraculous trainer of me. She gets treats all day. My husband is not so easy . She is trying so hard to make him love her that it is quite pathetic. She sits at his feet and purrs like purry mc purr face and he ignores her. She rolls on her back to expose a magnificently fluffy belly, and he doesn't notice . They'll work it out sometime but for now I am her snuggle source . Anyhow, just a long way to say I'm sorry about Shipley .
Dear Tom
Just learnt about the death of Shipley. Truly shocked and very sorry. I loved your very moving and funny tribute to him. Am also sorry you've received unpleasant comments on SM. It does seem to bring out the worst in some. I hope you're having a better summer and Ralph and Roscoe are doing well. Look forward to reading the new book later in the year. Take care x
How beautiful your words for The Bear and Shipley have been, and they resonate deeply with anyone who has loved and lost. I loved all the books, and all of their characters, and will always remember them. In fact I have always remembered Janet too!!!!
i wish you much peace, healing, and love – perhaps yowling and swearing arrogantly, perhaps, sneaking in on quiet paws, perhaps simply reading your soul with knowing eyes, perhaps in good companionship over a pint, perhaps in the whisper of wind brushing the moors that i have come to love from a half world away because of your writing.
meow and spilled ink
an alleged kat
Tom, tears spring unbidden,but so glad you had and appreciated that foul-mouthed for the marvellous years you did!
Tom, tears spring unbidden,but so glad you had and appreciated that foul-mouthed for the marvellous years you did!
I will read those 2 stories as you wanted but would like to tell you about my Bob. I love a chatty cat, as you do and your lovely friend Shipley was that, and I can also see was a delightful charmer as well. Bob didn't talk much but his personality shone through magnificently. I hope this gives you comfort.
Bob came to us from a family member who was leaving town and could not care for him while traveling. We took him in and he became a bit of a terror. It wasn't his choice to change homes and he was very stressed. We had a sit down after a few weeks of yelling and bad words and I told him he could live here and as long as he didn't terrorize the older cats, he could stay and do anything else he wanted, and be loved and doted on. A gorgeous silver tabby with the most vividly sky-blue eyes I've ever seen, a raspy meow and a build like a hefty linebacker, he became a delightful lover boy and great friends with one of our other cats, enjoying life and hunting in the forested area nearby. Nine years later, 14 year old Bob had, like Shipley, also suffered a clot, temporarily weakening his back legs. He seemed to recover, but a few weeks later it recurred and he lost his hindquarters movement and his circulation to his intestines and would soon suffer intense pain. It was time to give him the last best gift I could, and dammit I am here a decade later and crying my eyes out about my dear small friend. We made the phone calls and brought him to the vet again for his release to the next life. I wrapped him in a towel and held him to my heart, and could not stop crying. He was calm and purred nonstop. They had placed the IV and I told them to go ahead, hugging Bob and talking to him, they left us alone. My heart broken I told him go easy into the light, and other words of encouragement. I felt his dear beautiful heart slow down, and poured tears (and snot) on both of us. I felt the beat stop altogether and then, suddenly experienced a powerful sensation of relief, then even stronger there was overwhelming joy! Then I felt a physical brush like being petted the way I had always petted him, a brush of a spirit touched me, going across my chest from Bob's still body brushing leftwards and upwards and finishing as it passed my left shoulder, as I held his still body. Astonished I simply stopped crying as soon as I felt the first touch on my chest. As it left my shoulder I cried again, but calmer and knew I cried for myself, no longer for Bob because he was well and whole again, somewhere not here. The last thing I felt from him was almost verbal. It was "thank you, love you." Good journey Bobby Cat, and good journey little Shipley, may you two fellows meet along the way.
Sending you love and hugs, so sorry…thank you for sharing this with us x
Tom this is so beautifully written, I can feel how much you adore Shipley and how heartbroken you are at his passing. What you did was a hugely brave thing, because you don't want to end the life of your beloved cat, but you know it is the right thing to do.
I am never sure if I can be that brave, dreading the same for my two fools, Jasper who is a bit of a dog-cat and Mr Whiskers who like Shipley, is very shouty, miaowing around the place as if he's being starved and he really wants love and snuggles.
I am sat here bawling my eyes out in work, for your loss, your pain, which I can feel so much in this obituary.
Much love to you Tom xxxxxx
SHIPLEY is still in the living room, slinging bad shouts at me. "Slug-a- Bucket" I say back, and kiss his face.
I doubt you’ll see this – it’s June 2024. I lost my Bob today and was thinking about who would understand my loss….She was almost 17. I am 46, she’s been with me through thick and thin in – we’ve grown up and old together. She wasn’t spectacular, but she was my best little yellow eyed frien. I’m not sure I’ve ever been so sad about a death. Thanks for your words about Shipley and The Bear. It’s nice to know there are other people in the universe who love/d their cats as much as I did.
I doubt you’ll see this – it’s June 2024. I lost my Bob today and was thinking about who would understand my loss….She was almost 17. I am 46, she’s been with me through thick and thin – we’ve grown up and old together. She wasn’t spectacular, but she was my best little yellow eyed friend. I’m not sure I’ve ever been so sad about any death. Thanks for your words about Shipley and The Bear. It’s nice to know there are other people in the universe who love/d their cats as much as I did.